People struggle in accepting their need to change destructive behaviours because they are afraid. They have become afraid because they have become disconnected and have forgotten how to soothe themselves. By slowing, down, and learning to quieten the 'mind activity' we can reconnect to the quiet soothing sounds of our soul and of the Universe around us.

Imagine driving through an area of outstanding beauty. Then you realize just how fast you are traveling - everything a blur. Notice the trees, the fields, that church steeple over there slipping by within one blink of an eye. Did you see the lambs or did you miss them? Was that a gentle stream over there or perhaps a canal with its Narrow Boat traveling at walking pace? Did you notice the old man ploughing his field or the Buzzard hovering over its prey? Then, in a moment of clarity to realize that you are traveling at breakneck speed, you are out of control and are in danger of a major pile-up. This is how many people lead their lives and yet pride themselves with being in control and self aware. Never mind all that, we have meetings to get to and people to see. I have projects to manage and products to sell. I have a mortgage to pay and bills that I owe. Don't stop me now I am on a mission to nowhere - I am on a mission to self destruct.

Why do people spend so much time rushing around and overworking and eating too much food and drinking too many beers, snorting too much coke and gambling away all their hard earned cash? The simple answer is because they are not content; they are not at peace with themselves and their lives; they are disconnected. So by blurring life with chemicals and activity and filling their lives with noisy activity they blur their discomfort.I remember meeting a man, an unhappy individual. He came from a very poor background in the East End of London, his mother and father working all hours just to keep the wolf from the door. When he was a wee boy, this man took an oath; he swore to himself that no matter what it took he would never let that happen to him and his family when he was grown up, and he would do whatever it took to avoid the terrible shame he felt at his Core as a result of being poor.

When I met this man he was a multimillionaire, Alcoholic and Cocaine Addict . He had made a million, then another, then more; he had lost his wife through emotional neglect and was estranged from his children who felt that they hardly knew him. Yet he remained driven to avoid poverty and shame despite the unlikelihood of that ever happening and in so doing he was on the edge of losing himself to his Addictions. There comes a time in all our lives when we must take stock of where we have been, where we are now and of course where we are going to journey to. It may be a Mid Life Crisis which brings this opportunity to a head; it might be addiction or some sort of emotional breakdown. Whatever the catalyst, the crisis is an opportunity to make changes, but in order to do this we have to take time out, slow right down to a walking pace and take stock of all that has been and all that is now. If the way we are leading our lives is causing us to be discontented, unhappy and unfulfilled then a reassessment and new decisions must be made.

People are often afraid to change what they are used to even although the familiar has become destructive - better the devil we know. And, because they are often travelling so fast they do not notice that life is rushing away while they are locked in on some unconscious mission which has no real meaning or end in sight. "One day, if I work really, really hard, meet everyone else's needs and do everything perfectly, maybe then they will notice me and love me - one day." I call this the Myth of One Day and that day never comes simply because it is always one day. It is never today and it is buried in a past life which cannot be reached by the happenings of today. As we slow down to the pace that life meant for us, we progressively begin to notice more and more. We feel the pain of yearning at first; the pain of what wasn't and couldn't be and then, as our egos diminish and become less relevant we begin to notice that peace, serenity and contentment are quiet energies that exist deep inside us at the level of our Spirit.

I have met many who want to have a quick fix to their pain and struggles. They want a magic solution, a pill or potion to take away the suffering but without the need for change. "I can't afford time off to change, just fix me and I can get back to normal." This approach will never work and will produce more of the same pain except worse. At times like these when great change is needed, you will need guidance from others who have made this type of journey before you.

Psycho- spiritual Psychotherapy can be a solid guide through the difficulties that our egos put in the way of change and growth. Meditation and therapies which allow a slowing down and the healing process to take place are essential. Time out from everyday life is recommended. Of course it is possible to find your way back to what you feel deep down is missing but you cannot do this while traveling at 100 miles an hour on the road to nowhere.The word meditation and the word medicine come from the same root. Medicine means that which heals the physical, and meditation means that which heals the spiritual. Both are healing powers.