Last night I was up late, listening to the wind and rain, the cat snoring and the dog eating something plastic in the dark.  I was thinking about a conversation I had with a fellow earlier in the day.  A fellow who is obviously committed to helping addicts leave their death defying life choices but I couldn't stop thinking about how  it was an uncomfortable conversation - he was a freaking bully and kept butting in.  I felt that he was trying to convert me through his arguments – his recovery-ism was giving me a rash.

I also was thinking about the news alerts I get everyday and the onslaught of now popular topics dealing with sex addiction – the fallen celebrities.  Another new religion- celebrity recovery is on the rise..

In spite of what the media  would have us believe there is no one rich enough, thin enough, famous enough, smart enough, athletic enough…successful enough to avoid life's obstacles and challenges – even to the point of complete self destruction and failure. The public has an insatiable appetite for the sensational.  This strips us of our personal dignity.

So, I started rambling – the laptop open – I couldn't find my glasses…

Bad things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people… no one escapes life unscathed, no one is immune.  The issue is not what may or may not happen to you but what are you going to do about it.

Agency and liberty have nothing to do with fairness or equity except that in God's world, agency and liberty are available to all who choose it as it is inherent in our nature to desire these things.  Agency came with us.

The government would want us to be totally dependent on them for all our needs – that takes away our free agency to choose and decide for good or bad what and how our life should be.

IN prison – the department of corrections is a micro-community of tyranny, it takes the role of government to  provide for all your needs… even though they are the barest of necessities – you are taken care of. You have all you need and need only make the smallest of decisions each day… the goal of the department of corrections is that you( the inmate – citizen of prison ) be manageable.

Your objective each day is to behave in a manageable way – there is relatively no right to freedom of speech – let alone any other freedoms.  They say this is a consequence of your crime, that you should not have any ( or minimal ) rights. Which, indeed may be appropriate for the most incorrigible of residents.  However – the point I wish to make is – if you believe that you are entitled and that true freedom and liberty is attained through the governments role in providing all needs for you – then you need to look no further than life as an inmate… the only difference will be you can sleep in your own bed (for now ) and you can still wear your own clothes ( for now)

The worlds measure of success is distorted and can often distract and attract people well off the road of personal righteousness and good decision making – that which is involved in you being 100% accountable for you

I listen to the community of addiction providers who are now excited about Obama care changes – that finally addiction needs will be covered .  This perspective is one of scarcity and dependence which is in direct contradiction to the objective to help addicts be free from their dependence  … in fact some would argue that the AA community and many treatment models create a different dependency on the government of recovery.

Having more money or health insurance coverage provided by government or some quasi-agency will not decrease drug issues/use… it will not increase the rate of recovery or magically solve problems for people – even though the belief is now you will get "covered" and with coverage an addict could get into a treatment center ( regardless of cost) instead of dying on the street of their addiction.

Well meaning folks who I believe are sincere in their profession but operate from a perspective of scarcity not abundance – understanding that all things operate in the universe as they should be and are.  Recovery is not related to the comforts of a treatment center – it is related to an individuals desire to quit and find support.  That support most effectively is found first among the family unit.

I am not anti-treatment center, not anti-AA but  I am anti-big government.  I am pro family – pro free agency – pro love and faith in personal empowerment to overcome and choose right over wrong … even when all odds seem to be piled up against you.

I hope for local communities and families to find ways to reach out, unite, support and provide loving resources for those in need and not be subject to the long arm of the government of corrections. I believe in cures and redemption.

The 12 steps of AA teach that the addict/ alcoholic individual has  a life that is "unmanageable" and that something must change to order for you to recognize your own un-manageability.  Indeed – it is true.  Not just in addiction but when we lose our individual belief and value system that would embrace accountability and moral responsibility – a person increasingly engages in immoral behavior whether it is drinking, drugging, gambling, sexing, pornography, abusing others, lying…etc.

My addict son, says " but , I'm cool".

No – you are drunk… that is so not cool.  And what I see when he sits with me under the influence, all I see is a beautiful, noble, son of God lost in the mists of darkness and his only defense is to find value in "being cool ". That is the lie he tells himself to fight off the dews of shame that the darkness drowns him in.

Just like inmates living in prison – even in their prison induced sobriety – the institutional life becomes comfortable and the fear is soon diminished.  When they leave the comfort of being managed – relapse into old ways is often inevitable.

And the arms of corrections open widely with a welcome back to embrace you.  "We are disappointed in you, for you failed society again but never fear – we will manage you."

There are protests of " I hate this"  and " I will never come back".  But these words fall on deaf ears because no effort is ever made to change how they think and frankly, it becomes easier to just comply and it in a sad twisted reality – a feeling of safety replaces the high of the drug.

I am a strong believer in personal empowerment and that finding faith in yourself is the key to beating an addiction and understanding that your agency to live in the light is up to you.   Sadness and fear melt away when you develop faith and desire to have a spiritual life not a life in the dark.

Men ( women ) are that they might have joy – not that they are entitled to joy