I asked myself this question one night when I was wallowing in a sugar induced stupor of Chips Ahoy chocolate chips cookies and strawberry margaritas (I know it’s an odd combination, but when going through a divorce alcohol seems a reasonable substitution for the standard cookies and milk!) Crying for the loss of my best friend, my confidant, my soul mate made me think I would never feel better again. Would I soon become a lonely woman who unsuccessfully tries to bribe her 37 cats with bacon flavored cat treats to watch Wheel of Fortune with her? Man, a guru would come in handy right now to guide me towards the right path. What path is that, you ask? The path to actually being happy after divorce. Well, I didn’t have the fortune to have a guru but, by golly, you do! The fact that you’re even reading this crazy post lets me know that you need someone to lead you towards that “happy after divorce” path. What is a guru exactly? Or my favorite: A spiritually enlightened soul, who can dispel darkness, ignorance and illusion from the mind and enlighten the consciousness of a devotee/disciple (that’s you) So there you have it. I am basically your “enlightened soul” who can help you fight of the darkness, ignorance, and all around yuckiness of divorce. Yes I realize I am not your typical guru. I am not an old Indian man who sits in the lotus pose all day, having shunned all worldly goods. My name is not Rimpoche or Padmasambhava or something most westerners can’t pronounce. It’s Kim. Kim Hess. The blandest, un-guru-like name you will ever come across. But who cares, gurus help and teach and I will help and teach. I am now your personal “Divorce Guru”. Imagine going to parties (stick with me and you will eventually start going to parties again!) and saying “My Divorce Guru believes that I can live a happier, better life after my divorce than before.” Imagine all of the oohs and admiring looks you will receive when people realize that you are cool enough to have a guru. I can see you smiling now! |