Marriage can be seen in two ways; a bond that legally binds you to a person for better or worse OR a statement of love with a promise to keep it and nurture it till death does you part. While both are true to a degree which one of them sounds more fulfilling to you? To me the second sounds like the relationship I want to be in and the first just sounds like a bleak or business like agreement. I believe the key to stop your divorce, save your marriage and live happily ever after is to make a true choice to love rather than commitment.
Love is a hard thing to classify and many people even doubt it existence or claim it to just be an amalgamation of lust, hormones, chemicals and eventually security and comfort. The philosophical question may always rage but it is a moot point because however it is defined it can be seen to shape our lives and society beyond our understanding at times. It is from love that commitment flows not the other way around so think with love not vows and preconceptions.
With this in mind to stop your divorce, save your marriage and do it withlovethere are a few simple steps you can take to promote the transition from angry arguments to meaningful communication that can lead to actual long lasting resolutions.
Lose The Ego
Ego is a major problem when people who are in an argument whether you are married or just having an argument with a stranger your ego is the thing that makes you defend yourself as strongly as possible and refuses to admit it is wrong or if you are right refuses to take any slight against it. When you try to communicate but your ego steps in and redirects conversation to make you feel powerful, correct and secure you inflame what is already a tense and volatile situation. If you leave your ego at the door and just take a barbed comment or two without feeling the need to retaliate you can defuse the situation somewhat which allows communication to flow properly. If you leave your ego out then often so does your partner once they see that no one is keeping count of points scored.
Leave The Word Love Out
This may sound counter intuitive because I just said do this with love! Unfortunately the word love is a loaded thing with unpredictable results and the often used "Bu I Love You!" line may not be taken in the right context and may seem to your partner to be an excuse or an attempt to make them feel guilty which again inflames the situation making it hard to stop your divorce, save your marriage and be able to say those words, mean it and have it returned in kind. Actions speak louder than words and your actions in how you approach your communication can be your showing of love.
If you are prepared to be the one who saves your marriage even if you think your partner does not want it click below to find out a step by step formula that a group of expert marriage counselors have compiled that has already mended thousands of relationships.