The first thing you need to do is assess the situation you are in and make sure that you truly want to save the marriage. You wife wants a divorce for a reason and that reason may or may not be known to you. If you do know the reason, think about whether it is something you can get passed or not. A lot of times people try and save their marriage 'for the kids' but this is a bad idea. The reason for that is that it does the children no good if the parents are constantly fighting. In order to save your marriage, you must truly want to be married to your wife and you must be able to look passed and get over the 'reason' why your wife wants a divorce.

If you have decided that you can forgive and get passed the reason you are ready to start saving your marriage. What you need to do first is to simply tell your wife that you are ready to save the marriage and that is your main goal. When it comes to divorce, most couples talk about lawyers and court. Instead of doing that, focus on saving the marriage. Tell your wife that she can concentrate on lawyers and court if she wants, but you will be concentrating on being the best husband you can be.

Marriage is not about finding the person you will love forever, marriage is about learning to love the person you chose. You have to show your wife that you will be an easy person to love. By doing simple things you can easily show her that you are or will learn to be a great husband. I'm not saying to just give in to all demands, but going the extra mile to make sure you are doing your part certainly helps.

You need to really sit back and think about what kind of husband you are. Do you need improvement? I can tell you that I have never met anyone who didn't need improvement so don't worry. This doesn't mean you are a bad husband, actually it means just the opposite. Admitting that you need improvement and trying to improve makes you the ideal husband for most women. Show your wife that you are willing to do what it takes by working on what you need to work on. Buy a book, a course, or a video about marriage and how to be a good husband. This will show your wife you are serious and are willing to work for the marriage and your lives together.

Write a list and ask your wife to do the same. Sit down and write out all the things you hate about your wife. I stress the word 'hate' because these should be things that you cannot stand. Don't write down 'do the dishes more', write down if she had an affair, is abusive, or anything else that will seriously damage your life and your marriage. Ask her to do the same. Simply say 'I know you want a divorce but if you don't mind can you please write down the things that are making you come to that decision so that I don't make the same mistakes in the future."