Divorce sometimes is not a mutual desire of both the husband and wife.  Many times only one party wants the divorce.  Potential divorce becomes a more difficult subject to deal with when this happens.  It is understandable that you will want your spouse to stay and may end up begging him or her.  Begging may not be the best approach.  Stopping divorce and getting your spouse back requires some knowledge of the techniques for stopping divorce.  But even before that, you will have to address why your spouse wants a divorce in the first place.

You should not make the wrong assumption that you need the cooperation of your spouse to stop a divorce from occurring.  On your own, you can begin the process of reconciling the marriage.  Specifically, if you know what to say to your spouse to win them back into your arms you will be able to stop your divorce.  But first you must look at your own role in the disintegration of the marriage.  This works whether you are the one who wants to stay or to leave, because one partner changing their thought process and behaviors can turn a marriage around.

How to Begin Working on Marital Problems

It may seem odd to talk about stopping divorce with only one person working on the marital problems.  After all marriage is suppose to be a partnership.  But when a person gets to the point where they want a divorce the chances are the couple has not functioned as a team for a long time.  The grievances, arguing and emotional damage have led to two people basically living together but not acting as a true married couple.

The best way to address the problems you are having is to talk to each other.  Not communicating with your spouse will lead to not understanding what his or her problems are in the marriage.  If you are the person wanting the divorce than you already know what problems you are having, but if your spouse wants the divorce than the only way to find out what is bothering him or her is to talk to each other.  You need to understand each other.

Evaluating yourself is the first step in a process that will hopefully lead to a renewed relationship through better communication.  You can begin to change yourself so that your spouse can see that the marriage can be saved and divorce stopped.  You can prove to your spouse, through your actions, that the marriage can be saved.  Showing your willingness to talk is where you alone can work on your marriage.  Knowing the right words to say at the right time to win your lover back is integral to this.  This is part of what can be called the Magic of Making Up.

Identifying Marital Problems and Goal Setting

Once you have identified what the real problems in your marriage seem to be than you can look at yourself and decide what changes you alone can make to improve the situation.  Perhaps you can set goals for yourself such as deciding to not be so critical to your spouse in various situations or to ask their opinion more often.  Maybe you can change the way you judge what your spouse does in relation to your kids.

The goals you set must be for you alone.  You cannot expect your spouse to readily accept your own goals.  They are personal goals you set for yourself to do, which you think may help stop divorce.  You need to try to teach by example and hopefully your spouse will change from that and realize the marriage is not hopeless and you can both stop a divorce.  It is all part of a plan you must follow to do the right thing at the right time.  As time goes by and your spouse realizes the criticisms have stopped or there is more respect in the marriage again, he or she will most likely begin to communicate more openly.

Basic Building Blocks to a Better Relationship

Taking an unselfish approach with your actions and communications is the way to stop your divorce and get your spouse back mentally.  This is what you are doing when you look at yourself first and determine what changes need to be made in order to improve the marriage.  Each step you take adds a new building block to your foundation so the marriage is stronger than ever.  Don’t blame your spouse alone for the problems, since that will resolve nothing.

You can stop the disintegration of your marriage even when only one wants a divorce.  The right way to communicate is necessary.  This is part of the "magic of making up"; when you know what to say and how to say it to stop your divorce and win back your spouse.  You can learn the techniques and where to start just as others have.