Many fathers, before they go to divorce court, know that they're going to be against an angry, spiteful ex-wife that will be out to get as much money and property as she can from him before agreeing to a settlement.  But some fathers overestimate the spitefulness of their ex-wives and her attorney, and fail to attempt a settlement letter at all.

Although this seems like the least expensive way to negotiate a settlement and avoid costly court fees, many fathers skip this step altogether as they feel that it will never work, that their wives will "never go for it."  But many fathers have had a lot of success with settlement letters.

The key is to keep the letter respectful and informative.  Let your wife know in a polite manner what you would like to agree on for things such as property division, child visitation, custody, etcetera, and lay it out on the table.  End it letting her know that by no means will you give in to anything that you consider unjust or unfair.  Slap a postage stamp on it and send it off.

Chances are, you won't hear anything back from her.  But persistence is key--send another letter two weeks later.  No response?  Send another two weeks after that.  Keep going.  Although this may seem repetitive and pointless, trust me, this can put the court case in your favor if it ever continues to that point.  It shows that you have repeatedly tried to settle with your ex-wife outside of the court system, that you have been reasonable and fair in your offers, and that she has continued to push it to court.  This can put you in a good light in the courtroom, and could easily turn the case in your favor!