If there is any such thing as a common theme that runs through the child custody evaluation process, it would be the theme of documentation. But when it comes to documentation many people simply don’t have any idea of what to keep a record of. To simplify this process and help you understand what will be valuable to you let’s look at why you need to document.

The whole point of documentation for an evaluator is to show that you are backing up the claims you have made about your case. The reason you need to back up your case is because you and the other parent cannot come to an agreement on virtually anything. If you could agree then you would have been done by the end of mediation. If this wasn’t important to you then you would have caved in by now and been done with this long ago.

It is those differences that you do not agree on that you want to document. When the other parent is pointing out things that you don’t believe matter, make a note of it. Why? Because when you begin talking about substantive issues you will want to show the issues that they were focused on. If the child’s safety is a true issue and the other parent down plays the issue, it is easy to show if you have documented. If the other parent has lied and told several versions of a story to cover their tracks, you will want to have that handy.

Lies are of special interest because if you can prove a lie, then you can show they are not to be trusted. If they would lie over one issue, then what would keep them from lying about another? Lies deserve special attention from you. If you know there is a lie being told, then challenge the lie in writing (email works great for this). Get them to cover their lie by telling another that you can disprove. DO NOT give them a way to get out of it by telling them what they are missing. Simply have them clarify and solidify their lie. Wait to disprove it until you meet with the evaluator.

Provide your documentation to the other parent before you go or you will not be able to use it. This is called discovery. But once the documentation has been completed, served, and delivered to the evaluator, you can make your case. The wonderful thing is that the lying parent will be forced to come up with another story or try to downplay the incident. They won’t be able to play offense but will be playing defense instead.

As long as you stick to the issues, don’t embellish or exaggerate the truth and steer away from the drama, you should now be in good shape for the evaluators report.