"I won't agree to this amount, I can't live on that amount, it's too low!" she said, as she threw back the marriage "divorce" settlement agreement.  Alimony isn't to be the sole support but to supplement her income if she is a capable person able to earn her own living.  Alimony shouldn't be looked at as a "lottery" or a way to soak the ex-husband as it often is looked at by the ex-wife.

The likelihood of being forced to pay alimony

As a man, you have to pull your hair out when you are dealing with an antiquated legal system that favors the woman when it comes to alimony.  The woman's attorney looks at how many years the woman was married and then calculates how long the man will have to pay alimony.  If you have been married 4 years or less, alimony is not likely.  Between 7 and 12 years of marriage, it is slightly possible to probable.  If you have been married for 15 years or more, in states like Florida, it is "almost definite" and it will be permanent.  Permanent if she found a way to not work during most of the marriage.

Now, you want to settle out of court, because you will probably get a worse deal if the judge gets a hold of your case in a pro-alimony state.  So, on the advice of your attorney, you give in and hope that she will get married some day.  But, you know, why should she?  She has it made.  She is an able body woman, with a college degree who is living off of you.  Talk about the ultimate entitlement!

Paying alimony for a period of time, known as rehabilitative, is understandable.  Give her time to get up to speed so that she can get back in the workforce or start her own business.  But, paying until forever just doesn't work and is an archaic notion.  Woman should be embarrassed to be sponging off an ex-husband.  The idea of getting a divorce is to get out of a bad relationship; not to get out of a bad relationship to be reminded of it twice a month with an alimony check…FOR LIFE.

Alimony without divorce legal in Maryland

Yes, you read that correctly.  According to an article by Peter Hermann in theBaltimore Sun, December 9, 2009, in Maryland, you don't need to be divorced to be forced to pay alimony.  The second highest court in Maryland ruled, in a unanimous decision, upholding a circuit judge ruling.  A couple came to court without attorneys and without the witnesses required to testify before getting legally unhitched. The Circuit Court judge refused to divorce them, but he did order that the husband pay the wife $764 a month in child support and $1,500 a month in alimony.  Using a ruling from 1777 as a precedent, when Maryland first started hearing cases involving alimony, ruled on the appeal from the circuit court ruling.  Retired judge, Charles E. Moylan Jr., who ruled for the husband, was quoted in the article: "The notion of alimony totally disconnected from a divorce, albeit a practice boasting a venerable pedigree, has become at least quaintly anachronistic, if not actually vestigial, in 21st Century Maryland."

North Carolina needs alimony guidelines: it's time for a change

On the site,Divorce Crossroads, Scott Allen argues that North Carolina should adopt state-wide alimony and post separation guidelines.  Allen goes on to explain.    In North Carolina the amount and duration of alimony (and the amount of temporary support prior to alimony being set – called post-separation support) is in the discretion of the trial judge and this leads to the following:

1. In similar fact scenarios the outcomes will be different from different judges and in different jurisdictions around the state.
2. Since the outcome of an alimony case is not easily determined, alimony claims are difficult to settle.
3. Since alimony is difficult to settle, clients have to spend more money to litigate cases.
4. Since alimony cases are difficult to settle judges have more alimony cases to hear.

Virginia alimony statue creates a trap for the unwary

Even though parties have a Property Settlement Agreement which does not provide for spousal support at the present time, it is common practice for the Property Settlement Agreement to state that one of the spouses is awarded a reservation of spousal support. When the parties drafted such a provision for a reservation of spousal support, it was probably their intent that the spouse in whose favor the reservation was granted could, at any time in the future, ask the court to award spousal support. However, if their Property Settlement Agreement is incorporated into a Virginia divorce decree in a case which is filed after July 1, 1998, then it will be a case in which the right to spousal support is reserved and therefore it will be presumed that the reservation will last for one-half of the length of the marriage because there are no provisions in the Property Settlement Agreement to overcome the presumption.published in Divorcenet.com.

Permanent Alimony & The Stay At Home Mom: Florida Divorce and Alimony

Whitney R Lonker wrote in his blog in September 2009:

Florida law provides for permanent alimony when certain statutory factors are met however, in the end, it's still up to a Judge. Having said that, the length of the marriage is one factor the Courts look to in determining permanent alimony. Usually if the marriage is 10 years or fewer, the courts consider this a short-term marriage and there is a presumption against permanent alimony. If the marriage is 11-16 years, the courts deem this as a "gray area" length of marriage with no presumption either way for or against alimony. A marriage of 17 or more years is considered by the courts to be long-term with a presumption in favor of permanent alimony. However, the requesting spouse has to show a need for the support and the other spouse has to show an ability to pay it. On July 29, 2009, the Florida 3rd DCA stated that there is a strong factor support permanent alimony where a spouse remained home caring for the family rather than pursuing a career for a significant period of time.

Alimony Reform – The Alliance for Freedom leads the way

The Alliance for Freedom is an organized group focusing entirely on legislative efforts to reform the present alimony laws in Florida, some of the most archaic laws in the country.  The group has moved into the next generation of activates to maximize its efforts and effectiveness.  Not only do spouses who pay "lifetime" alimony suffer, but their families, second spouses or significant others are affected.  There is a negative trickle-down effect that has an affect on the whole society and economy and it is time for a change in the laws.

There is a new emphasis on educating the public and those responsible for making the laws that affect family law.  There is a pressing need to end the continuing financial marriage that survives and lives long after the dissolution of marriage that terminated the relationship of the spouses.

The organization is fighting Florida House Bill 277.  This bill allows for:

Award of more than one type of alimony; revises factors to be considered in whether to award alimony or maintenance; provides for award of bridge-the-gap alimony for limited period; provides that such award is not modifiable; provides for award of rehabilitative alimony, durational alimony, & permanent alimony in certain circumstances; provides for modification or termination of such awards.

"H.B. 277 currently before the legislature expands and deepens the Alimony scheme—–a very bad bill."

R. C. (Dick) Lindsey, Chairman Alliance for Freedom From Alimony, Inc.

The efforts that are made towards reform in Florida will pave the way for other states to follow. Only by your participating and joining the Alliance team, , will this happen.

"We are currently working with the legislature to make changes to the permanent lifetime Alimony laws—–hopefully change to a system like Texas and some other states have." wrote Lindsey.

Texas Alimony Law

In order to qualify for spousal maintenance in Texas, the requesting party must meet one of four requirements:

1. The paying spouse was convicted of family violence within 2 years of the date of the filing of divorce;
2. The marriage was 10 years or longer and the requesting spouse lacks sufficient property to provide for minimal needs (including property awarded in the divorce) and is unable to support him/herself through appropriate employment because of an incapacitating physical or mental disability;
3. The marriage was 10 years or longer and the requesting spouse lacks sufficient property to provide for minimal needs (including property awarded in the divorce) and is the custodian of a child who requires substantial care and personal supervision, making it necessary for that spouse to remain at home with that child; or
4. The marriage was 10 years or longer and the requesting spouse lacks sufficient property to provide for minimal needs (including property awarded in the divorce) and the requesting spouse lacks earning ability in the labor market adequate to provide support of minimal needs.

If the party qualifies for maintenance under (1) (3) or (4), the maximum term of maintenance is 3 years and the amount ordered cannot exceed 20% of the gross income of the paying spouse. If the party qualifies for maintenance under (2), the term can be indefinite.Source: Divorcenet.com

With alimony and other divorce related laws, it is up to each state to determine the laws and judgments.  Doesn't it make sense for states to adopt "best practice" laws and create a uniform system?

The alimony laws, in most states, are outrageous and so out of touch with the reality of life.  Too often, the man is forced to carry the burden of providing for a woman who is very capable of caring for herself.

Unfortunately, the law is not always about what is fair.  It's time for reform.