When your relationship ended suddenly, it must be a terrible feeling with a lot of tearful nights, a lot of lingering questions on what exactly went wrong and importantly, how to get your ex back to your side. To succeed, there are 3 things you need to do.

1)      Reflection

Stay calm and simply reflect on what could be the causes of your breakup with your ex in the first place. Has the problem persisted for a period of time already, which you had not really noticed until now or something that you simply brushed off not thinking much of it in the past? The question isn’t about “can you get back together with your ex?” but rather, “should you get back with your ex?”

Once you have an idea on what could possibly be the root causes of breakup with your ex, you will be able to set your mind focusing on addressing these issues. Then decide on what you are willing to do to change or compromise so that your ex will see the changes in you and increase the chances of your ex reconsidering getting back to you.

2)      Overcome your emotions

If you want to get back together with your ex, do not rush things. Of course it is normal to feel as if life will never be the same. The love of your life has left you and you don't know where to go or what to do. Just be sure to take some time for yourself to be clear of what you really truly want.

You need to be sure you're in it for the right reasons, if not you are just setting yourself up for another painful heartbreak and you know what that feels like. It is important to review the reasons why you are separated from your ex and what you think will be different if you reunite. Try and draw out what contributions you feel each of you made to the failed relationship. Be sure to discuss these things with your ex and ask yourself when you have the chance. Have these issues really been resolved? Men can appear much more complicated than they are simply because they’re not as comfortable talking about feelings and emotions than women. Often what makes perfect sense to women are completely lost on men.

This freedom of time and space will let you reason out a plan that will actually work, rather than just doing whatever feels right (since it’s often actually the wrong idea). Again, don’t feel desperate and rush to ask them for reconciliation. Slow and steady gets your ex back for you.

3) Contact with your ex

This shouldn't be a blatant phone call saying "look what I did, I'm better now!” Contact should be gradual, unobtrusive, and non-confrontational. You're reinitiating contact not because you want to get back together, but because you care about the person and how he or she is doing.

After catching up on each other’s lives, tell your ex that you’ve been thinking a lot about your relationship lately. Explain to them what you think went wrong, and then tell them why you think things might be different the second time around. Listen to your ex attentively without interruption, even if you feel that you were right, try to see their point of view. This will make your ex feel understood and validated, which is the key to repair your relationship.

Making up and getting your ex back really depends on how much you value the relationship. If you really feel that only your ex can complete you, you need to have an organized strategy to get your ex back and you should start to have one!

There is a free video at that will give you more resources on the first step to stop a breakup.