Despite popular belief, paying alimony doesn't just have an effect on white middle aged men.  Often, the second wife and family suffer.

Second Wife Suffers Along with Husband

The following is from the blog, Alimony Slaves.

"My husband was divorced over 5 years ago and was ordered to pay
$1,200. per month in alimony to his ex wife from the state of New
Jersey (we now reside in Florida).

After paying for over a year, we decided to take it back to court to
try to get a reduction or modification.

During the waiting process, he continued to pay her, and we went into
foreclosure and we were forced to sell our home.

To make a long story short, the judge completely denied the motion.
(Even though his ex was now working 2 jobs) originally she claimed
she was physically and mentally unable to work.

After the judges denial my husband quit his job, and got another job.
Needless to say she has found us again, and his work was ordered to
garnish his wages again.

We are desperate. We live very modestly and like most others, live
paycheck to paycheck."

Unfortunately, with many of the archaic laws on the books in many states, families are being adversely affected by laws that award an ex-spouse a life time of pay from his or her ex.  Yes, be aware that laws and courts throughout our country support outdated alimony monetary awards.

Interesting, since many women have recently become the main earner in the family, when they divorce, more women are also facing alimony to an ex-husband.  If married long enough…permanent alimony.

Because of being subjected to paying alimony and being involved with a man paying alimony to an ex, many women are getting involved with organizations that are addressing the social and legal aspects of permanent alimony.

Families for Alimony Reform

One group,Families for Alimony Reformis working to change the laws regarding Permanent Alimony.  The organization's goal is to educate the general public on how, in this case, the State of Florida imposes lifetime alimony, on both men and women, requiring them to pay involuntarily under threat of jail for the rest of their natural life.

Families for Alimony Reform, will provide assistance and direction to reform the current Alimony Laws of the state of Florida.

Families for Alimony Reformis dedicated to alegislative solution to the unfair practice of imposing lifetime involuntary payments to an ex-spouse regardless of their income earning potential or their part in the dissolution of a marriage. Reform alimony supports rehabilitative alimony for a limited but effective period of time.

Get involved.  Go to Alimony Reform, Inc. and/or Alliance for Freedom from Alimony .

Recent Florida legislation will strengthen the alimony laws in Florida.

Recent Florida legislation will strengthen the alimony laws in Florida.  House Bill 277 allows for award of more than one type of alimony; revises factors to be considered in whether to award alimony or maintenance; provides for award of bridge-the-gap alimony for limited period; provides that such award is not modifiable; provides for award of rehabilitative alimony, durational alimony, & permanent alimony in certain circumstances; provides for modification or termination of such awards. Effective Date: July 1, 2010

According to the Florida House of Representative website, this bill Died on Second Reading Calendar on Friday, April 30, 2010 6:59 PM.    However, the bill was resurrected as CS/HB 907 – Child Support and Alimony and was signed May 21, 2010 and is now sitting on Governor Crist's desk to be signed into law to be effective January 1, 2011.

So, how did this bill get combined with a Spousal and Child Support bill, HB907?  Politics and special interest groups, like always.

HB907, authored by Representative Anitere Flores, is a good bill.  But it is not a good bill combined with HB 277.  The author of the Alimony House Bill 277 is James C Frishe, District 54 (Pinellas County).

Go to Florida House of Representatives website to read the bills.  If you agree that it is a bad bill, contact the governor and tell him not to sign it.

What is Happening in Your State?

If you are living in another state, pay attention as to what is going on with alimony laws.  Stay informed.

Why is There Permanent Alimony Anyway?

The Definition of Divorce is as follows:

1.The legal dissolution of a marriage.

2.A complete or radical severance of closely connected things.

v.di·vorced,di·vorc·ing,di·vorc·es

v.tr.

1.To dissolve the marriage bond between.

2.To end marriage with (one's spouse) by way of legal divorce.

3.To cut off; separate or disunite: an idea that was completely divorced from reality. See Synonyms at separate .

If one is paying permanent alimony, then how can that be divorce?  The parties are joined indefinitely by money.

Alimony needs closure.  With the possibility of modifications, alimony causes wasteful legal costs for both parties.Who wins?  The attorneys win with billable hours to open up the case again.

To be clear, alimony is not child support, it's adult support.  With permanent alimony judgments it can be supporting an adult for the rest of his or her life.  This person who is the ex is not even your flesh and blood and you are forced to support, in most cases, a very capable person.  Permanent alimony, in many states, is awarded based on the length of your marriage.  How does the length of the marriage have any bearing on the persons need or the other person's ability to pay?

Let's say a man is the main bread winner and the wife is a stay at home mom during the marriage.  Because the man had done the earning, he is penalized by divorce by often times having to pay alimony.  In this case, the alimony laws side with the woman.  It is not always fair, because more often than not, that adult receiving is capable of making a living.  With a rehabilitative alimony, the receiving person can develop new skills and enter the workforce.  At least rehabilitative alimony has an end date.

Sure, for an ex who was a stay-at-home parent or has a disability, paying alimony with an end date makes sense.  But paying for life?