"Women file for divorce at twice the rate as men do", wrote author and former family law attorney Jim Williams.  In his book,"Insider Secrets and Strategies That Men Must Know to Win Their Divorce", Williams guides men through the divorce mine field. Click here for more information about his book.

There are several grave effects on a man who is facing or has gone through a divorce.  Before you make the legal marriage commitment, you may want to read on.  Learn to make better choices before getting married, so you can avoid these devastating effects.

4 out of 10 marriages end in divorce –it is an unfortunate fact that many marriages don't work.  It is too easy to get married.  Maybe we would have fewer divorces if more was done on the front end during the dating and courting stages.  Then required courses and tests so that the couple understands what they are signing the day they stuff cake in each others mouth.

Only 42% of children 14 to 18 live in a first family marriage –Due to the high divorce rate, blended families have become the norm.  This is especially true for teen kids.  There may be a direct correlation between troubled teens and living with the second family.

One of the hardest adjustments for a divorced man is his relationship with the kids –Most often, the father is the outsider in the mix.  He needs to learn to adjust to the change of not seeing his kids all the time.  To improve his adjustment, he will want to be even more involved with the kids during these tough times.  He may also want to fight for a better timeshare arrangement than the typical every other weekend and once during the week.  It is possible to get a stretch of time, like 11 days straight.  This will help him bond with his kids and help him be more involved with the kid's sports and other activities.

Friends of a divorced couple are often forced to choose who they will remain friends with –a man can expect to lose his couple friends.  More than likely, the friend couple will go with the woman.  The man loses the familiarity of the couple relationship.  The man will be forced to be alone and find new friends.  Or, if he is fortunate, he has friends and has stayed in touch with these before marriage friends.

When a man gets divorced he loses his source of emotional nourishment … his family –A man is often driven for success from the emotional nourishment of his family.  Often, he is the bread winner and the hero for the kids.  When he is not in the picture all of the time, he loses that family umbilical cord.

The suicide rate is 3 times higher for divorced men than married men –Often men look at divorce as a failure.  They lay a lot of the burden of the troubled marriage on their shoulders.  They also often carry guilt with them of being part of a break up.  This is especially true when there are kids involved.  So, often isolated and consumed by negative thoughts, some men can't deal with the situation and end it.

Nearly 50% of couples fall into poverty after a divorce –Divorce poverty was designed by family law attorneys.  The legal fees for a contested divorce are in the average of $25,000 to $30,000 and higher range.  Usually, the process is dragged out by endless forms, paperwork, negotiations and legal hourly rates at $250 an hour and up.  There are some attorneys that are full of themselves that charge $400 an hour and often prove to be useless.  Also, many men are left with having to pay the ex-wife's legal fees.  Interesting how paying the other attorney's fee ends up in the final judgment.  After the legal fees have devastated your accounts, you may be faced with paying child support and alimony on your one income.

Debt for divorced men –Unfortunately many men have no other choice but to use credit cards just to make ends meet during the divorce and even after.  The joint funds and assets are often off limits.  Also, he is now faced with funding two households often on only his income.  The debit catches up with him.  Often, men are forced to file for bankruptcy.

Men are less likely to seek help during and after divorce –Maybe there are less resources or it could be because men are less likely to go to a group and sit down and pour out emotions.  That is way sites like are places where men can go to get information and resources.

Don't be a statistic, lean on a friend. You are not alone; many men have gone through divorce before you.  Find a support group.  Several religious organizations have support groups.

Here is a link to divorce resources from /?page_id=76" Think Divorce Before Marriage resources page .

Below are some additional resources.

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groups.yahoo.com/group/Fathers_are_Parents_too/

parentswithoutpartners.org/Support2.htm

divorcehq.com

divorcecare.com

proactivechange.com/divorce/fathers

Remember, you do not need to be alone.  There is hope for a future.  Be patient and work each day to make it better.