Anyone that has ever been through it will admit that divorce is very hard.  And yet, many times after someone has endured the painful process of obtaining a divorce, they decide they made a mistake.  Are you in that situation?  Are you thinking:  How can I get back with my ex husband?   If so, pay attention.

While you are pondering the question, however, take the time to scrutinze the things that led up to the divorce.  Then ask yourself why you want him back.

Seriously thinking and meditating on these things will lead you to a conclusion.  Was your conclusion that you should have tried harder to maintain the marriage?  That is one decision you might reach.

Or are you questioning your decision because you find yourself suddenly filled with fear at being single and alone, that is another thing.  Sometimes you might reason that even a bad marriage is better than no marriage.  If you are in this camp, you need to find ways to aleviate the loneliness and depression before you end up making a decision you will regret for a lifetime.

Okay.  You have considered matters carefully and decided you will try to work things out and get back together with your ex husband.  If that is what you feel is best, then you need some guidance.  Here are some suggested steps:

1. Invite him to sit down and talk.  This should be done in an atmosphere of kindness and understanding.  This is not a time for either side to bring up past hurts or to nag or moan.  What you want to accomplish here is a mutual understanding that both partners contributed to the marriage break up.

2.  Honestly evaluate your role in the failure of your marriage. It is very unlikely both sides are without fault. Recogize the part you played and be willing to change your behavior patterns accordinly.

3.  Try to find ways the two of you can communicate better. Many couples find it difficult to express their feelings to one another;  other times one partner may express their feelings, but the other isn't listening.  A session or two with a marriage counselor may help you to find ways to communicate better.

After you develop good communication skills, you may find out you have much more in common than you realize.  In fact, the misunderstandings you had in the past may not have been actual disagreements, but merely misinterpetations of what your partner was feeling.

After going through all the perils of getting divorced, have you now realized you should have worked harder to keep the marriage together?  If you find that you now want to know how to get back together with your ex, start with the simple steps, above.