The first month after your breakup is usually the hardest, isn’t it? If you feel like calling or texting your ex-boyfriend, I would advise you not to. The same goes for breaking down, crying and trying to make him feel so sorry for you that he takes you back. These desperate tactics will only drive him further away. So what should you do, then? Take it from someone who’s been there, done that.

Take a break from contacting your ex-boyfriend for at least the first month after your breakup. Use this time to review how your breakup happened especially how you may have contributed to it. Make changes to improve yourself so that when you do get your ex-boyfriend back he will see the changes in you. Here are some additional tips I have learned from my experiences:

1. Stay in touch with your ex-boyfriend’s family or close friends. This will help you stay in their good books. Do not complain to anyone of them about your ex-boyfriend or his faults. Do not ‘kiss and tell’ on your ex or talk about the breakup. Just acknowledge that you have broken up if anyone asks and then present yourself as a friendly, loving, positive and sweet person. This will cause everyone to think that your ex has lost someone really special and precious. If you can make them think that of you, it’s mission accomplished.

2. Look for an opportune time to contact your ex-boyfriend again. An opportune occasion may be a group outing, just meeting up for lunch or for a drink after work. Whatever it is, make it casual and fun. The purpose of this is to create happy memories for you and your ex-boyfriend to look back on. These happy experiences also have the ability to bond you together, which is very important.

3. Make your ex-boyfriend feel that he is respected and admired. Respect is the key thing that all men crave. It is even more basic than love because you can only love a man if you first respect him. So find occasions (as many and as often as possible) to show your ex respect and admiration. For example, when you need advice, ask him for it. When you need help, ask him to assist you. Make him feel like he’s knowledgeable, capable, talented or resourceful in something, anything. And when he advises or helps you, compliment him and thank him. You must be his raving no. 1 fan. Doing these 3 things consistently will draw your ex back to you. This will enable you to soon talk to him about getting back together as a couple once again.