Maybe you’ve been frustrated the last few times you visited uncle Bob at the <a title=Nursing homes at Great Places! rel="nofollow" onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/article_exit_link');" href= />Nursing Homes </a> or cousin Lou at the <a title=Assisted living at Great Places! rel="nofollow" onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/article_exit_link');" href= >Assisted Living</a> facility, but it’s a fact:  some elderly people are unable to live independently.  They may have a chronic illness or some level of dementia that makes self-care--and communication--difficult.

Here are six tips for communicating with your senior loved one.  They will help you to communicate more effectively, and extend the relationship you’ve developed over the years.

First, remember that this communication will be challenging--but it’s worth doing. Maintaining a loving connection with an elderly person honors the relationship you have and will help to improve his or her quality of life.
Second:  Physical changes can affect communication.  Age-related declines in physical or mental abilities affect the elderly person’s ability to communicate; some illnesses do so as well.  Hearing loss, for example, makes it more difficult for your listener to understand you: be patient and speak as clearly as you can. It's possible that an assistive listening device could improve communication by phone.

Third: Some elderly people experience changes in their speaking ability, and their voices become weaker, or harder to understand.  Be aware that the elderly person will become tired and want the visit to end.
Fourth:  Some age-related changes in memory are normal. Most often, short-term memory is affected, making it harder for an elderly person to remember recent events. Keep this in mind, and practice patience.

Fifth:  The elderly person may want to reminisce and grieve.  When someone lives a very long time, it’s impossible not to experience some feelings of significant loss. The deaths of relatives and friends, losing the ability to work and to be independent, changes in health and finances—all of these and more affect an elderly person’s self-esteem.  These losses can create sadness and grieving.  Common responses to grieving are depression, social withdrawal, and irritability, so look for these symptoms in the elderly person and seek medical advice or counseling.

And, finally, sixth: Respect the elderly person’s background, knowledge, and values.  Because an elder’s life experiences may be very different from yours, it’s important to invite the person to express those thoughts and feelings, and respect them even if you disagree.

The type of facility you chose and the level of care provided may also make a significant difference in the elder’s ability to communicate. Activities, intellectual stimuli, social interaction, and educational routines, all can slow the inevitable processes of communicating. Here are some sources of information about seniors-oriented housing as well as other helpful information regarding seniors’ aging issues.