Sitting down and initiating a discussion with your elderly parents about needing some personal home care can be uncomfortable. Many families avoid such conversations about aging, end of life, and finances because they view these as private matters. The following tips provide some communication strategies that might help to begin the dialogue of care for parents.
Start discussions early. Don't wait until one of your parents has an illness or injury to start the dialogue. It's much easier to have these discussions while your parents can make decisions for themselves, rather than you having to do it for them because of illness or injury.
Go in prepared. Your parents have probably already thought about the possibility of needing some type of personal home care assistance at some point. Create a game pan to present to your parents. Also include other family members in your discussion (if available). But before you do this, talk with your family members to determine if you all agree on your goals. Clear the air with siblings and other relatives ahead of time so that everyone is united on goals. Consult with senior in home care providers for information on services and rates for elderly in home care so that you can overcome as many roadblocks as possible.
Explain your purpose. Let your parents know you are concerned about them and that your goal is to help them do what's best for them. Taking this approach encourages your parents' participation, thus allowing them the control they deserve. Plus, your parents will be more receptive to care if they were a part of the decision, rather than it being forced on them.
Take one step at a time. Don't try to solve too many problems or concerns in one marathon sitting. Tackle the big problems first. This will diminish your fears and build trust between you and your parents. Accepting the fact that they need help may take some adjustment time for them.
It's ok to agree to disagree. If your parents don't initially agree with your ideas for additional care, don't push too hard. Unless your parents' immediate health or safety are an issue, their wishes should prevail.