Cremation Offers Choices

By Brian Gardner

Columbia Cremation Care Center

Columbia, MO

Contrary to what most people seem to believe, cremation does offer choices for memorializing a loved one. By choosing cremation you are not locked into the commonly perceived idea that you cannot have a visitation, funeral service or a graveside committal ceremony.  You may choose to have your loved one cremated and do nothing more.  But, that choice does not fulfill the needs of many families.

You can choose to have an open casket viewing and traditional church funeral followed by the cremation. At a later time you may bury the ashes in a cemetery or scatter them at a favorite place.  Some will also choose to keep the ashes at home in an urn.  It is not uncommon for a family to divide the ashes with the different portions being buried, scattered or kept at home. One family that had traveled extensively chose to scatter some of the ashes at each of their favorite locations around the world. The family may choose to place the ashes in a beautiful urn or simply bury them in the temporary box they were placed in at the crematory.  The cost of an urn can range from just a few dollars to many thousands.

In Missouri, cremation is considered final disposition; this gives you the choice of having a service at a later date.  There is no rush to do everything in three days, as is the norm with traditional burials. This gives the family members time to decide how they wish to memorialize the deceased.  There is time to plan when, where and how to celebrate the life of the loved one.  It could be the following week or it could be the next summer when everyone can gather to have a formal (or very informal) funeral service.

With cremation you have many choices as to where to hold the memorial service.  Churches, cemeteries, golf courses, public parks, restaurants/bars and the family home are just some of the choices available.

The bottom line is that you do have choices and you should choose to do what is right for you and your family.  Don't be restricted by what is perceived as normal and acceptable.  Do what best serves your needs as you grieve and adjust to the loss of your loved one. A reputable funeral home or crematory should be willing to help you organize a service that truly celebrates a life lived.   If they tell you it can't be done, then it's likely they are simply not trying very hard to help you at this difficult time. The arrangement process should be collaboration between the family and cremation provider.

Brian Gardner is founder of Columbia Cremation Care Center in Columbia, Missouri. His business was founded on the principle that offering people choices with dignity is the right way to treat a grieving family.  You can contact him through his website at