Ever heard of the phrase "The 200 pound gorilla in the room"? This is a phrase referring to some topic which is at the top of everyone's mind, but no one talks about it. Everyone knows that the gorilla is here, but no one wants to talk about this and get the gorilla upset.

Whenever you spend time with an elderly person, there is a gorilla in the room. This topic can be perfectly associated with old people, but a topic that not many dare to cross, maybe because they find it rather upsetting, or maybe they just don't know how to say it. But this is a topic which dominates your elderly parents' minds practically every single day. The gorilla in the room refers to death and the life-ending matters that are pending in every elderly person's life.

As your elderly parents' primary caregiver, you ought to be aware of how much importance this topic is to your parents. In case you have lost a parent, the spouse has greater meaning and awareness of the issue. However, there are some very good reason to avoid talking about life ending issues and impending death with your senior citizen. This is because there are plenty of final issues that must be decided upon before the time arrives. They include

> Do not give any advance document directive decisions to the end of life medical personnel.
> The conditions of the will.
> Any wishes that the elderly person may have about his or her funeral plans.
> A brief review of the insurance and financial documents that the person with the power of attorney or the Will's executor will resolve.

In order to talk about the end of life issues which are related to death with your elderly parents, you must be emotionally stable to withstand it. Most of us bury these ominous thoughts in a trick and we just like to think that we may not go through this. Perhaps we do that because we are comfortable thinking about life itself, and have a strong feeling of discomfort while discussing afterlife and other religious ideas.

To be mentally prepared to care for your parents and be an effective counsellor to your aging parent, you must ensure that you have enough peace and resolution regarding the topic. If this means you need to confront your anxieties about religion, you must accept it as a part of being an adult because your dependants including your children as well as your aging parents may look up to you for answers related to that area. It may take some courage on your part, but it is important that you face these issues so that you can help you aging parents do the same.

If you have strong faith in religion and if your aging parents share that opinion, it is probably the right time to discuss afterlife assurances that have been dealt with in your religion. Spend time with your aging parents reading texts about the doctrine of heaven and gain comfort from it. This may bring new hope and peace to your parents because they will realize that leaving this world does not imply the end of their life.

Do not allow the 200 pound gorilla continue its stay. Discuss the issue of death and afterlife with your elderly parents, and handle it with kindness and compassion. By doing so, you will assist your parents in attaining spiritual acceptance and mental peace about the rest of their golden age and the time they have left on earth.