Tough Economic Times Can Strain Relationships

by Michael D. Hume, M.S.

In my career as a coach and counselor, it's been my honor to advise many of the world's brightest people. The problems they've raised have run the gamut from simple work-related frustrations to outright personal disasters. One of the most interesting issues I've dealt with has been marital or relationship stress.

If things aren't right at home, it causes tremendous emotional anxiety for both parties. The phrase "if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" (and its corollary with regard to the other gender) carries truth. I've found that people literally can't focus the best of themselves on their work when they are worried about their relationship; this causes a downward spiral, since trouble at work can exacerbate trouble at home.

Nothing stresses a marriage more than financial difficulty. Money is one of the chief things people find to fight about at home. And these days, when money is tight all around, relationship strife is a clear and present danger.

There are two things I suggest when a person faces financially-related relationship stress.

Reduce your physical stress.

Normally, your body takes orders from your brain. In times of extreme stress, though, it can be the other way around. One good first step is just to start taking better care of yourself physically, so that you can bring the best of your mind and emotions to the struggle. Get a few minutes of exercise every day. Eat right - at least stop eating garbage like junk food and fast food. Drink plenty of water. Get enough sleep. Take a good supplement, such as a liquid nutraceutical. Do these five things, and encourage your partner to do the same. If you can undertake a small wellness regimen together, the effort will work wonders for both of you and help you turn to face the money demon together (rather than letting it tear you apart).

Get a back-up fund.

I am not referring to The Bank Of Dad. I'm talking about finding a way to bring more money into the house each month. If one of you has recently lost a job, this may be the spark that has triggered the emotional strife in the home to begin with. Maybe one or the other of you has been unemployed or underemployed for an extended time. Maybe you're both working full-time, but it still isn't enough to keep the wolves off the door. You might find that taking a second job could help, not just in terms of cash flow, but as a stress reliever as well - Action is always the prescription when the ailment is Worry. If the sort of structured schedule demanded by a part-time job won't work for you, think about starting a business. If you have a computer and internet connection at home, you'd be amazed at how well you can do, even starting in your spare time. And again, this is something the two of you can do together.

These measures won't "fix" a truly troubled relationship with great underlying fault lines. I certainly don't advocate doing these two things instead of undertaking marriage counseling (though I think a good counselor might recommend them to many couples). However, I've seen too many people have good results with these simple efforts not to think they're worth a shot. See if a little more health and wealth in the house might not bring along a little more love.