When relationship problems strike, there are key steps you can take to get your relationship back on track.

It's very likely that your partner will not want to participate, so if your partner is not interested in getting involved and has given up, just by changing your behaviour you can start to change theirs without them knowing.

It is very likely that if you and your partner are in conflict for whatever reason that you have been holding back on all the things you know they will like. This is your way of punishing them for hurting you.

The problem with punishing your partner is that this behaviour will get you less of what you really want, your partner will attach bad feelings to you and this can really damage your relationship because all these little problems can build up in a persons mind.

Understand what you really want before you decide to take action.

What you probably really want is to feel love, security and significance. Punishing your partner will just drive them even further away resulting in you feeling worse with the possibility of the conflict escalating.

So what you do is the reverse, but in this special way.

Decide what behaviour you want from them and every time they behave the way you want, you'll reward them with love or a kiss, something you know they will really like, of course you don't tell them your plan.

You do this every time they do what you want.

What you will discover is this act of love is a thousand times more powerful than any partner repelling punishment. If you have found something they really like receiving from you'll notice that they'll look for more ways to attach doing what you want to their great feelings.

Remember if you feel reluctant to try this, ask yourself how do you feel when your partner has a problem with your behaviour. Do you respond well when they become cross with you, do you want to help them and give them what they want? Of course not…