When we find who we think might be the right one for marriage we are never sure (unless we are sure) if our choice is correct.  We bring them to our parents for dinner, we introduce them to our friends and we watch how other people react to them on dates, especially at restaurants.  If we are new agers we compare our astrological signs. Some people even go to psychics or palm readers to get info from “the other side” or wherever it comes from.  Compatibility is very important.  So I have come up with the ultimate test for marriage compatibility.

Be sure to answer the questions as honestly as you can. But before you begin this test I need to ask you some preliminary questions. All of these questions must be answered in the affirmative (yes) before proceeding with the test. If you cannot answer yes to the first set of questions you must do what it takes to answer yes; then you may take the marriage compatibility test.

1)      Have you determined what traits are most important to you in a mate?

2)      Have you prioritized the traits?

3)      Have you identified the “can’t live without” traits?

4)      Have you identified the “won’t tolerate” traits?

5)      Did you challenge your own answers by comparing them to your other answers?

Example; He must be kind was number 5 and he must be tall was number 3. You need to answer honestly if you would prefer a mean guy who is tall over a short guy who is kind.

6)      Did you take time and then go back to challenge your answers?

OK, now there is one other important thing you must do before you take the marriage compatibility test. You have to admit that no matter how good a job you may do in determining your “best” mate there is still the problem of not having perfect wisdom. So the other thing to do is pray; I’m serious. Try this… “Dear God, I know You like us to do our best and I promise to do that, but I need Your personal help and attention because I want a life mate and a lifetime is a long time. I want to be happy and have a great family. Would You help me, please? Would you introduce us? If I get a little ahead of you, God, and pick a creep without knowing it would You protect me by ending it, please? Thank you, God. I will try to think of You whenever I meet someone, and I’ll listen to my conscience, so I can hear Your silent hints.”

Now? OK, now.

Questions for ladies first

1)      Is he drop-dead gorgeous? If he is remember that looks improve with love and diminish in importance over time.

2)      Does he love you like crazy? One of the greatest traps is when women love men because men love them. The kind of man he is outweighs how much he loves you.

3)      Is he romantic, socially graceful and generous? These are dating techniques used by savvy men. You are picking a husband and father for your kids, open your eyes.

OK, I have just gotten you to read the three biggest mistakes women make in picking a spouse.

Remember your list? That’s the best way to know what you need in a husband. Make sure you are being practical because your future children depend on you doing a good job. Make sure they have the best dad who ever lived and you have the best husband who ever lived. Most men marry the first woman who will have them (sorry guys) so it is up to you to select a quality man and treat him right.

My advice for guys is not all that different.  Men should overcome their fear of loneliness and rejection.  Putting together a list of desirable and undesirable traits is a must.  It is also a must that you stick to it because there can be no greater hell than sharing your life with a person who you knew from the beginning you should never have been with.  Don’t become a divorce statistic.  Be clear about what you want and don’t want and then be patient.

Marriage is meant to be joyful.  But it can go the other way too if you go into it blindly and without thinking can through what is important to you.