/?Coping-With-Marriage-After-the-Affair---Three-Important-Things-to-Understand&id=3441170" Coping with marriage after the affair is not easy and many married couples cannot find a way to bring back the spark o their marriage, the emotions that were hurt and the fact that most sane people have never even thought of going through such a terrible situation.

You cannot blame anyone for feeling like this though as no one would want to unfaithfulness in a relationship. Infidelity does happen in many marriages however and as such,we have to know how to deal with such problems if they ever happen.

Here are 3 ways that might be useful if your partner has cheated on you but you still want to salvage your marriage.

Anger, Resentment & Jealousy have to be Dealt with

Anger, resentment and jealousy are all regular feelings after you discover That your spouse has been cheating. However these things will really not help you at all to be able to forgive and move on or at least not be overwhelmed by cheating. In this case you need to find ways to stop these feelings from ruining your life. This if course easier said that doneit needs to be done or everything you do will be poisoned by these negative thoughts.

A way of thinking that might help is "I can always control how I ACT even if I cannot control how I FEEL!". going about these feelings will take time but you it is you who controls what you say and what you do even if you think you are going to explode if you do not get angry. If your emotions threaten to control you when talking to your partner simply tell them that you are too angry to talk and take a walk but always keep in mind that you will talk about it later when you have cooled down. You can go make it happen when both of you are in the right head space.

Do not Think of Retaliation

This ties in with controlling what you do and say but is more focused as it deals with another destructive thought: REVENGE.

It is possible to use words to retaliate in the form of nasty quips and comments, full flown verbal abuse or even talking behind their back to friends or family or colleagues. Some use physical attacks which is a very dangerous path but it can also mean physically attacking something they love or cherish too. You might also use passive aggressive retaliation or even worse getting revenge through sexual acts by committing the same crime as you spouse.

Do not allow this to happen as the trust you had is almost completely lost from an affair and only need you to wallow in vengeful acts to sever them completely. your marriage might not be saved at all. In the end you have to make a decision... is there no chance or will you fight to try to find love and trust again... the choice is yours.

Do not Live on the Past

Another problem that can stop you from being able to forgive and communicate in a marriage after an affair is thinking that you can bring back the pastmake things just like they were. Your marriage can not be what it once was unless you keep ignoring the entire affair and then you will be living a lie which has caused more marriages to fail than it has to keep them together.

Leave the past behind you instead. The old marriage is gone, your old relationship was not what it seemed since they had an affair. Only when you realize the past of your marriage should not be relived can you focus on your new life, your new relationship and your new marriage because basically, you have to start anew!