With a relationship that is core-attitude incompatible (for instance, a Pollyanna and an Oscar-the-Grouch) the individual that understands the power of the mind is the one that can intentionally create peace and harmony in the relationship.

In other words, the one that is willing to intentionally apply the law of attraction to improve the relationship is the one that will ultimately be the cause of that experience.

Of course, there's a couple of catches!

When we choose to change or grow our relationship, we must do this by being willing to first, accept the relationship as it is; without exception and without an attachment to the change we desire. I'll explain why this is true, shortly.

Second, it's important to remember that there's always a price and a pay-off to every change. When we choose to intentionally change a relationship, we can ultimately attract our ideal relationship (even from within the one we have) but not without change.

Therefore, be open, willing, and prepared for changes. It may not come in the package or form that we originally planned. Remember, there are two creators involved here and therefore compromise, flexibility and growth will be required on both sides. This is true whether both parties are aware of the intentions of the other or not.

Now, getting back to the first catch, you must apply the law of detachment by accepting that your mate may never change and be willing to be at peace with this exactly as it stands, forever.

Making peace with your reality is the art of detachment. Practicing detachment does not mean you are giving up on your desire for a more harmonious relationship.

Quite the contrary, you are giving up on your desire to have your mate be someone they are not. You keep the desire for harmony and that becomes your magnetic beacon.

By focusing on the essence of harmony and calling that into your experience, you literally inspire those around you to act, be, and do things that are in alignment with that harmony. And, you inspire yourself to not be present when this isn't the case.

You are, through the intentional act of surrendering to what is, exchanging attachment for detachment, resentment for forgiveness and rejection for love.

Therefore, if you want to inspire changes within your relationship, choose to surrender to loving it just the way it is.

Then, begin to put your focus, attention, and intention on the love, harmony, optimism, fun, adventure, connection, passion, etc. that you want to experience at the core of your being.

By imagining that you experience these things within the relationship every day, you create a wave of magnetic energy that ripples through your home. Your loved ones will literally feel inspired to ride that wave and in a boomerang fashion return the love you are sending out, as if they no longer want to present their 'negative' face but instead feel compelled to be more harmonious around you.

Recently, a friend had a major breakthrough with her relationship with her in-laws. It required a great deal of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), creative visualization and a willingness to love them exactly as they are.

She used EFT to eliminate her picture of how they are, including her belief that they were disrespectful and indifferent to her needs and that they were and always would be selfish, self-righteous and overbearing. She then used a great deal of creative visualization to implant into the Infinite Mind what she wanted instead: kind, considerate, respectful, honoring in-laws that she enjoyed and appreciated.

Here's her miracle email:

"Just wanted to pass along some awesome news!! My husband's parents returned home from vacation this week and they came to dinner last night at our house. Not only was it really wonderful and comfortable and easy and fun...Guess who washed their hands before holding the baby?!?! Talk about progress! Woo-hoo!" THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!" - H.

This email is a miracle because only a few short weeks ago, she would have preferred to never see them again, let alone endure an entire dinner!

She used the power of the law of attraction to literally empower the relationship to have the energy of love, respect, and harmony all on its' own.

Every relationship experience is caused by our thoughts, emotions and our expectations.

Therefore, to change our relationship experience we must change our thoughts and emotions and expectations of the relationship.

We want to choose whether to use emotional scribbling or emotional sparkle to inspire our ideal relationship from within the one we have.

If we are reacting to what is, then we are using emotional scribbling to draw our relationship masterpiece.

If we are intentional, conscious, and focused on love and acceptance, peace and joy, then we are using emotional sparkle to draw our relationship masterpiece.

In summary, here are the steps:

1) Be willing to love and accept your mate exactly as they are even if they never change.

2) Decide what you want in the relationship and focus on the essence of that desire (peace, love, harmony, beauty, joy, passion, etc.)

3) Begin to give what you want in the relationship. If you want more love, start giving more love. If you want more peace, start being more at peace.

4) Use emotional freedom technique (EFT) or some other forgiveness tool to eliminate the doubts, fears, and resentments from your past in order to free yourself from any self-sabotaging thoughts or expectations.

5) Imagine that you already have the very thing that you want right now from your mate. Practice this vision over and over until it becomes a part of your expectation.

When your love of the reality feels truly fulfilling and your expectation for peace, love, and harmony becomes a knowingness (a firm level of absolute certainty) then your physical world will catch up to your emotional world.

This is when you will open your eyes to the change that has taken place and the materialization of your ideal relationship will be what you see!