Did I tell you that my "good cholesterol' is low?

The stupid doctor (yes, he is stupid to me, I need someone to hate. I am hungry at night!) told me to start taking Niacin, cause he said that my "good cholesterol" is low.

But, let me tell you that I took all my 7 tablets that he told me to take and then took this niacin tablet for the first time. I turned around and made myself a cup of coffee and sat down on the computer. All of the sudden, the back of my head and neck start to itch like it was on fire!

"I know I washed my scalp, yesterday?"I said to myself.  I had gotten new finger nails so I had plenty of ammunition to work with. Then my back started to itch and my face started to feel hot.

By now I am freaking out! I run to the bathroom and in the bright light I catch my face in the mirror and it looks red.

Not even regular red.

Hella red.

Do you remember I am black?

I did!

And then I look down at my arms and they are flaming up to. I run back to my desk itching and scratching my legs and I am starting to do a jig at my seat while sitting down.

I start typing in "Niacin's side effects" in the computer. I find out that there is a thing calledNiacin flushing. According to all of these sources online (except my doctor):

"Many people have experienced the annoying, sometimes downright painful sensation of niacin flush"

OR

"will experience redtorso, back, arms and legs and may itch violently for 30-60 minutes or up to six hours"

OR

"the flushing will heighten if you drink hot beverages after taking it."

I almost regurgitated my hot coffeeback up.

"Miss, Linton, I have no way of knowing what you may experience in due course of taking said pill, but if you feel that you have overdosed as your message has stated, please go to your nearest hospital. But, I assure that this side effect will pass," says the doctor after I left him a dirty and terrifying message.

And then after his message, I read on another site:

"The second reaction of niacin flush is the annoying, and sometimes painful itch that comes along with it. This itch is actually healthy!"

Jigga what did I just read??

"The second reaction of niacin flush is the annoying, and sometimes painful itch that comes along with it.This itch is actually healthy!It's important to note that this niacin flush is not harmful or dangerous."

Forget that!

I turn on my air conditioner and jump into the shower for 30 minutes. When I come out the itching is gone from my head, but it is still everywhere else!

I just realized to myself that the only thing that should be flushing is my toilet and its contents.

So then, my guest comes along, let's call him Zesty, for a little visit (okay maybe a visit for him, booty- call for me). And then he sees me trying not to itch and then he is like-"what's wrong?"

And I am like, "Nothing."

Then he looks over my shoulder and there is a huge amount of pills (which are vitamins) on my counter and he is looking at me all suspicious-like.  By now, I can't help but to itch and almost collapse in convulsions on the floor. When he ask me why am I itching. I tell him I took a drug call Niacin. A drug that this man, Zesty, has never even heard. He didn't even believe me that it was to increase my "good" cholesterol. And that why is a young woman  my age have to worry about any cholesterol and am I sure that is what causing me to itch.

Jigga What????

I tell the Jigga on his way out that he better get TESTED! Before what ever I gave him leaps off his penis and starts to talk back to him in tongues and Swahili!!

I can't even think right now. I am so frigging hungry!!!  However, my stomach is reshaping quite nice. Yes, I am vain, my possums.  Now, you know everything about me.

I went to my bed fuming and you want to know something funny- I forgot that I hadn't even slept with him yet!

And you want to know something else that is funny-the only place I didn't itch was my front!

Man, I wish my front was scratching me, cause then it would give me the incentive to call the Jigga back and get him to itch it.

Damn it!