OK, this article is for married guys…if you are a wife or mother reading it; sorry, but you’ve been warned! This is designed to help us men get excited about sleeping with our wives again. If you are like most men, when you and your wife start having kids, everything changes. You don’t go out as much, you don’t have sex as often, and many women (and men) put on a few extra pounds that never seem to go away. Remember, it probably took 9 months to several years for these extra pounds to accumulate, so don’t expect them to disappear any quicker than that arrived.

WARNING:Do NOT call attention to your wife’s extra weight. She knows it, her friends know it and calling attention to it directly (or even indirectly) isn’t going to motivate her to change. I made the mistake once of buying a dress 2 sizes smaller than she could wear for Christmas as an incentive to fit into it by Spring….big mistake! You cannot be subtle, cute, or coy…when in doubt, SHUT UP! There are exceptions to this rule, but those exceptions are for extreme circumstances and should be only be used by people who have highly developed people skills and/or are in marriage counseling.

Step 1:You have to lead by example. You probably are not in the best shape yourself, so start with the man in the mirror. Get a copy of Men’s Health, join the gym, eat fewer carbohydrates, and start exercising every day. The more YOU get in shape, the more motivating it will be to her. Your wife will not magically start to work out right away, but after you get started, you can always ask her to join you. The results of your efforts will create the following:

1. Your increased stamina will increase your sexual performance.

2. Your decreased weight will make you more appealing to her.

3. You will begin to look good to other women (jealously can motivate)

4.  If she joins you in exercise, you will emotional connection will increase.

5. Losing your gut makes your penis look bigger

Step 2:Encourage good behavior. Whenever she makes a healthy meal, or goes for a walk, or does ANY diet or exercise, regardless of the results you must compliment her. Make your compliments specific and sincere. Do not simply say, “You look great” (although that is a good thing to say) be sure to say things like, “Your arms look stronger” if she’s been lifting weights or “That was a delicious dinner and it seemed so healthy! Thanks.” Specific, sincere compliments will continue to motivate her to continue the activity she is being complimented for. This is true for men, women, children and pets.

Step 3:Encouraging positive behavior is much more powerful, but occasionally, you’ll need to re-direct negative behavior when it comes to diet and exercise. Discouraging bad behavior is more difficult. You can’t say, “Don’t have that chocolate cake, it’ll go right to your thighs!” lines like that will get you cut off for a month. However, YOU can lead by example…here are a few ideas.

·         Refuse extra sweets

·         Park the car farther away in the parking lot

·         Walk with the kids to school

·         Ask her to “Train” you and be your health coach

Step 4:If the situation is extreme (If you’ve totally lost your desire for you wife and/or have started looking elsewhere) then you need dramatic intervention. Women don’t understand our brains and if your wife wants to stay married, then counseling is a terrific option. Going to counseling and learning HOW to communicate will be the first step. When you get to the point in your relationship where you can say ANYTHING to your wife, then you can delicately bring up that your desires have diminished and her appearance is a large part of that. Be having an intermediary broker the discussion, you should be able to start off on a good note. My wife WAS hot when we got married. Once the kids came, little by little, things changed. She became frumpy, unappealing and we’d “Lost that lovin’ feeling!” Our love life has turned completely around because of the principals I am outlining in this article and my book. For a thorough plan of action on how to turn your wife into atrophy wife, visit .