Particularly if you haven't lived together before your wedding, it is important to establish how chores and regular tasks will be divided to ensure you are both happy with your living arrangements and don't have unreasonable expectations of your spouse. Even if you already live together, you may want to question whether you or your future spouse expect existing behaviours to change. You may decide to draw up a rota for the housework or each take responsibility for set jobs. Certain things such as unblocking the plug hole or putting out the rubbish may be the stuff of nightmares for one of you, but just a regular activity for the other. Whilst it may seem unnecessary to talk through these things in advance, it can lead from mild disgruntlement to full scale resentment, if it is not openly and frankly discussed and agreed upon. There are so many things to potentially bicker about when you first move in together - from dishes left in the sink, to washing left out, shoes not taken off to toilet seats left up - that it is far wiser to hold pre-emptive dialogues than risk a sense of dismay as come back down to earth, after your honeymoon.
Your spouse should be your best friend, the first person you share good news with or turn to when you are troubled. The bond the two of you have will grow stronger throughout your years together, so long as you maintain your closeness with regular cuddles and chats and not let your career, children or other pressures come between you. Make regular time to do something together, whether it be a meal out, a trip to the theatre, or just snuggling up and watching a favourite DVD. Holidays are a wonderful way to enjoy each others company, whether a fortnight abroad, a week camping or a weekend at a B&B, getting away from the routine of day-to-day life is a great way to re-connect and celebrate your relationship.
Great relationships are those where you can talk for hours and know that your spouse revels in hearing about your day and sharing the events from their own, where you can laugh together over funny anecdotes and commiserate disappointments. Being a good listener is key to any relationship. If you don't understand what you spouse is explaining, ask them open ended questions to enable them to describe it in a different way. Asking questions also shows that you are interested and keen to make sure you are correctly following their dialogue. Avoid interrupting a flow of communication and wait for a natural break before offering your opinions or ideas. If your spouse fails to do likewise, gently discuss with them how you find it difficult to express yourself or complete your story and how that may make you feel. However, remember it is possible that your spouse is excited, surprised or confused by what you have said, causing them to interrupt, as their interpretation overtakes their tact.
Rich marriages are those where both partners enjoy a variety of activities and interests, some common, some varied. Whilst it is rewarding to share hobbies and a mutual sense of fun and adventure, it is also important to allow each other time and space to pursue your own ventures and maintain your own friendships. These may be in pursuits only one of you finds interesting, yet you can both enjoy discussing and understanding the reward the other gets from it. The more variety you have in your lives, the more you have to share and debate. Trying new things together can spark excitement and open up new opportunities for each of you.
Caring for each other is one of your key responsibilities in a marriage. Small acts of kindness - such as making your spouse a cup of tea every morning or setting the video to record their favourite program - performed out of love and affection, allow you to demonstrate your desire to nurture your partner. By setting your own wishes aside and putting those of your spouse first, you show your respect and high regard for their comfort and happiness. Being there for each other, both in times of joy and sorrow, is the most solemn and strengthening aspect of a marriage. The most any of us can ask for from a lifetime commitment, is to have someone to stand shoulder to shoulder with when times are hard, who wants for us what we want for ourselves and who is prepared to move mountains to help us reach our goals. Be that person for your partner and know they will be likewise for you.