Separated And Near Divorce Doesn't Mean You Can't Make Up

In some cases marriage is turned into a battle ground where children and spouses are suffering because of the constant arguing.  Life for all might become unbearable in that case.  Many times because of this, married couples decide to separate to take a break from this marital pain.  But just because you separate does not mean you will break up or that you can't get your spouse back.  You can use this separation time to breath, reflect and to possibly come up with a plan to get your spouse back to you.

Sometimes married couples have to step back from a problem in order to solve it.   When consumed deep in your marriage and problems are careening out of control, it can be beneficial to temporarily separate.  But the key phrase is “temporarily separate”.  A separation can be a chance to take stock of the situation and find some emotional calm, but it should not be viewed as a first step towards divorce.  You can have a plan that will win your lover back and stop a divorce.

You Need the Right Attitude

Your attitude towards separation can become a self-fulfilling prophesy.  If you see separation as a sure step in the divorce process, then you stand a good chance of ending up divorced.  But if you look at separation as a time where your spouse and you can learn to appreciate each other again and work on problems, then divorce is not inevitable.  One of the drawbacks to separation, even with the right attitude, is that you are not living with your spouse which can make it more difficult to jointly address some problems.  So you will need a proven action plan to win your spouse back.

While separated, you and your spouse may seek counseling.  Obviously, your marriage has difficult problems that need worked on.  Getting as much help as possible in order to work through those problems is critical.  Counseling will also insure that you both continue talking to each other as you work through your problems together.

It can be tempting while separated to dwell on the wrong kinds of thoughts.  That’s where attitude comes into play.  If you spend your time convincing yourself that your spouse can never change, then you are not giving the marriage a real chance.  When you concentrate on the past, and don’t see the future as full of change and new possibilities, then you are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.  We have all seen other couples get back together, so you can do it too.  What is needed is the knowledge of how the other couples got back together and saved their marriage.  There had to be some secret one of them used to win back the heart of the other.

Try Talking Again

During separation both husband and wife should make a real effort to talk regularly.  Now that the separation has temporarily relieved some of the stress of daily arguing and feeling locked into an impossible situation it can be easier to discuss marital issues.

Your goal should be to stop divorce.  Single life is not easy in this modern age.  You married each other because you saw yourselves as compatible, loving and ready to spend the rest of your lives together.  Once you have found these kinds of feelings, it is difficult to feel as satisfied as a single person.  If you only knew the magic of making up and how other couples did it, you would be able to end your separation very quickly.  It is imperative that you find the right words to say to stop a potential divorce.  Being single may not be that fun.

The Big Stop Your Divorce Conclusion

Don’t forget the value of your marriage, or lose sight of the good points in life.  There is a reason why you fell in love in the first place.  It will be important to save that.  There’s a reason why you have been married for years.  There is a reason why you have brought children into the world as husband and wife.  You both had common goals and dreams and your marriage was the way you decided together to pursue them.

Being separated is painful and a relief at the same time.  The important point is to use this time to re-open, not avoid, communication with your spouse.  You should also spend this time re-evaluating yourself. It takes two to have a marriage and it takes two to have marital problems.

Most relationships can be salvaged.  There are examples of every type of breakup being salvaged.  We have all seen couples who got back together that we thought would never have gotten back together!  What was it they did to accomplish this?  Apparently there was something one of them said or did that helped them get back together.  But what was it?  This is part of the Magic of Making Up or what we might call the magic love recipe.

You will need a plan to pull it off successfully, and that is where the magic of making up can be your magic love recipe.