With depression, when it happens, it's the same way.  You can't just return to your old ways of dealing with stress and use the same coping skills that got you depressed in the first place. It's time to see what your priorities are and what needs your attention most.

Let's take Ralph:

He's 64 years old, retired, and enjoys playing golf, going fishing, and hanging with his old friends who are also retired. He drinks a little more than he should but he never had a DUI so he thinks he is OK. His wife has many friends and is involved in church work and helping the local animal shelter raise money.  Ralph's wife meets Tom at the senior citizens' center and they immediately have a good mojo. Within weeks she and Tom are planning a future together.  When Ralph learns of his marriage falling apart he drinks a quart of alcohol and runs his truck into a cement post.  He is not seriously hurt but is diagnosed as seriously depressed.  He is treated for two weeks in the hospital. His wife has shown concern but does not plan to stay with him.  Ralph needs to find a way to live his life in a way that he does not need a steady flow of booze to keep going. He realizes after he's gone through detox that he will have to change his lifestyle and become more active doing things that don't involve booze. He tells himself that maybe getting divorced isn't the worst thing in the world since he and his wife were never really that happy.

Annie is another example.

She is 46 years old and her 24 year old daughter was killed by an abusive husband. Annie has not been able to deal with her depression over this and has had to go to court to see her former son in law tried and sentenced. She takes sleeping pills and tranquilizers; sometimes to the point she slurs her words and stumbles when she walks. She is a realtor and does not have to report for work at any given time so she lays in bed much of the day.  She has a friend who is handling her real estate closings. Annie was very close to her daughter and was not really close to her son who lives nearby. Her husband died of a heart attack and she lives alone in a lovely condo. Her diet is terrible and she looks bad. Her son comes over one day and tells her that he is taking her to a mental health clinic, that he has already made an appointment.  She agrees reluctantly and when she tells her problem to a counselor, she is given anti depressant medication. Within 3 weeks she is feeling better and has more energy. She realizes that she will always grieve for her daughter but that relationship she counted on was gone.  She checks out the local recreation center to see what classes she can take and she signs up for a gym member ship. She also feels much closer to her son and is trying to repair old grudges and arguments with him.

Jim was in a toxic relationship.

Jim is 28 and was living with Laura, 26. She is a nurse and he works for a drafting company.  He dated her for five months before asking her to move in with him. When she did, their relationships seemed to go south.  She never wanted to help with the cleaning and cooking and felt that they should go somewhere every night.  The sex was good but she was always suggesting how he could make it better.  He was very turned on by Laura because she was pretty and well built.  However, he noticed there were phone calls coming in and Laura would take them in the bedroom and talk for an hour. He asked who it was but she didn't say.  Finally he answered the phone and talked to the man who had been seeing Laura on the sly. Jim blew up and screamed at Laura to get out of the house. There was a terrible scene and the neighbors called the police who decided to arrest Jim.  When he got out on bail, Laura had cleaned out the TV, stereo, and his computer.  He was so depressed he could barely go to work.  His mind would wander back to how he had gotten involved with a woman like her.  He didn't want to go out with any friends and just got fast food to eat.  His parents called and asked him to come visit as they only lived an hour away but he wouldn't go.  He just sat and brooded. Finally he was causing so many screw ups at work that his boss told him to get help or he would be out of a job. Jack went to see a psychologist and let it all out. The counselor was understanding and arranged for Jack to get on antidepressants.  He also told Jack that he needed to find out why he had been attracted to a woman like Laura and decide what was important in a woman that he would want to have a relationship with.