Dear Dr. Colt:  I'm an elderly woman living alone.  My children live all over and sometimes come by to visit.  But they don't seem to care much about me.  Sometimes they call, but not often enough.  I miss them and feel I'm not important to them.  I get to crying so much, but I don't want to be bothersome.  How can I make them pay more attention to me? -- Lonely in La Jolla

Dear Lonely in La Jolla:  You can'tmakeanybody do anything willingly for long, even in caring family relationships .  Many people schedule themselves so tightly they can't do all they'd like, including visiting their parents often.  Discuss how you feel with your children, arranging mutually agreed visit times and calls that both meet your needs and fit their calendars.

Also, I doubt they'd find it bothersome if you phoned occasionally, asked how they are and updated how you're doing.

But more concerning to me is that you don't seem to have any other interests besides your children.  If that's true, it is quite important that you try to find interests and friends independent of your children.  If this is hard for you to do, it is possible you're suffering a period of depression.  The good news is that depression is highly treatable…often without having to resort to medication such as anti-depressants.

Elderly depression is more prevalent than realized.  Please check with a mental health professional to make sure you're not also unnecessarily suffering this debilitating problem affecting 17 million Americans yearly.