I don't know if it's the summer doldrums or just more of the path to the midlife joy thing but lately I have been feeling like there is something more, something missing. It's like an itch that I can't seem to relieve and I'm not sure where exactly it is that I need to scratch. The regular day to day duties and distractions just are not enough.

When we get to this midlife 50's thing we come to realize that time is not something to waste. I made the decision some time ago that I wanted the last part of my life to be MORE. This period in our lives is an opportunity. We are in a position to do what we really want but the big question I often see among us is what is it I need and want? It isn't financial and it doesn't mean I don't love a lot of what's in my life but it's still there; that craving. That feeling that there are things, very special things I need to find and want.

They say and I believe it's the journey but how do you go about setting off on the journey after so many years of duties and complacency, doing what is expected and honestly, when the load and obligations get lighter it's just so easy to fall into that rut. So how does one get unstuck and on the discovery path?

I have always known when I feel this way it means I need a change. It's time for growth. Today as I contemplated this dilemma a memory from my younger years popped into my head with such clarity it was almost startling. I began to think about a time in my life before there was so much mental and physical stuff. I remember how easy it was to go with the flow back then and how instinctively I moved with that flow. I recall a time when if I was bored and restless I just knew what to do and found it so easy to set about finding an adventure.

Back then I had no fear or any preconceptions and when some idea drifted into my head I acted on it. In thinking about this  a very special memory came to me that is so real I can recall what I had on and what I felt and being deliciously in the moment. It was a time when I had no particular plan other than where I would go but the rest I just let unfold. I also remember how satiating, peaceful and yet stimulating the experience was and how it often led to what was next for me.

I grew up in El Paso, Texas and although I know a lot of people can't imagine that being an incredible place to be it really did have some wonderful benefits. One of those was a lazy Sunday drive to Las Cruces, New Mexico, lunch and a day spent meandering in the Historic Old Mesilla Plaza.

Whenever I would get this feeling I just described I would wake up early and throw on my peasant skirt and boots and just take off on the drive. The scenery on the two lane road would change to big Pecan trees dotted with occasional roadside stands selling local honey and of course the areas famous and delicious chilies. Along the way was a charming old stucco house that had the best Mexican food you can imagine; for the life of me I cannot remember its name. It was run by a delightful Mexican family and it was like eating in the kitchen at your friend's house. The place was devoid of anything commercial. The best part was that it didn't seem to have regular hours. Sometimes I would get lucky and find it open and sometimes not. That was part of the charm, a hidden treasure so to speak.

I think what I found so fulfilling was that this was an experience, not a destination. Maybe I would stop along the way and maybe I wouldn't.  It lulled me into connecting with "me" and that precious much needed experience of being in the moment; priceless.

As I sat reveling in this wistful memory it occurred to me this was one of the keys to becoming unstuck. This is precisely how to connect with yourself and in a perfectly delightful and natural way.  So I came up with a formula of sorts. Use this very loosely because it needs to be as spontaneous as possible.

By your design:Find a place you love to visit but don't frequent on a regular basis. If you don't have such a place then get online and find a destination that intrigues you and can be accomplished in a leisurely day. Try and find a place with a pleasant drive that offers a completely different atmosphere; I really think this is part of the escape. Then keep this idea handy for when the moment is right!

With yourself:Again, these are loose instructions. If there is someone who can match your energy for this adventure then take them along. I remember sometimes going with a friend and sometimes going alone; for me the feeling of being on my own and alone with myself really enhanced the moment and experience and produced the best results.

For only you:This journey needs to be about ONLY YOU. No concessions here. This should be your whim, your tonic your idea and free of the need to consider anyone but you. You need to have the ability to change the direction, plan or timetable at will!

That's it! Now wait for the perfect day when you have that bored with your life feeling and go for it. I am betting you will find this an excellent way to spark your creative juices and zest for life and discovery.

You know on second thought it's not summer doldrums at all; it is a light on the path to your midlife joy!