The way you talk to yourself or allow others to talk to you can have an enormous effect on your confidence and self-esteem.  If you use or hear predominately negative words it will, over time, have a detrimental effect on how you view yourself.  Do not underestimate how greatly negative words affect your confidence.

Using negative words is a fast-track to low confidence, unhappiness and unrealised goals and regrets.  Negativity can colour your whole world in drab shades of grey, stopping you from improving your life, leaving you feeling stuck and frustrated.  Pessimism is very pervasive in our society and this sort of outlook often stops people in their fulfilling their dreams and ambitions, instilling them with fear and hesitation for the simple reason that they lack confidence in themselves and lack belief in their capabilities.

You know only too well that words can be powerful – they can hurt our feelings, depress us or enliven and uplift us.  Negative words can have an immediate effect on your body and mood.  Practice this for yourself and see how you feel - say to yourself or out loud:

• I fail at everything I do
• I am not a worthwhile person
• No one likes me

How did you feel after saying those words?  Fed up, dispirited and “heavy”?  Those three examples were certainly depressing statements, but many people speak to themselves like this on a daily basis.  Imagine feeling fed up, dispirited and heavy every single day!  Yet negative words can affect us in this way, battering our confidence.

The frustrating thing about negative words is that they are mostly completely untrue.  It is not true that you fail at everything you do or that everyone dislikes you.  And it is definitely not true that you are not a worthwhile person.  However, if you continue beating yourself up by habitually using negative words about yourself, you will unfortunately start to actually believe these negative statements.

What you need to do is to change the words you use.  Now, this takes some time and practice, especially if you are accustomed to negative self-talk.  However, with a little time you will find that swapping your negative words for positive affirmations will have an amazing effect on your life.  That is guaranteed.  Negative words affect your confidence, that is undeniable, but what you should also know is that positive words are far more powerful.  Positive words create a wonderful energy that will quickly infuse everything in your life.

Start by writing down as many positive statements about yourself as you can think of, for example:

• I really like myself
• Other people like me
• I am a success

It may feel unnatural to you at first and even untruthful, but persist with this.  These positive statements are not untrue; it is simply that you still believe only the negative about yourself.  This exercise is a part of changing your thinking patterns, retraining your mind to accept positive statements instead of negative ones.  Repeat these positive statements out loud, no matter how silly you feel!

Whenever you sense negativity creeping up on you and affecting your confidence, re-read your positive statements again.  Repeat this over and over so that those words become a habit.  Carry your list in your pocket if necessary so that you can read your affirmations whenever you need to.  Very soon you will realise that those affirmations are an amazingly powerful weapon against any menacing negative words that might attempt from time to time to creep into your mind.