Learning to Love Freely and Graciously     by Lezlie Cebulski , ND , EFT-ADV

Romantic love is celebrated more than any other kind of love.  It is the subject of endless movies and books.  It is an exciting part of life and makes us feel special and intensely valued.   This feeling of being valued "just as I am" is a longing we all have in our hearts.  However, the emotion of romantic love and the emotion of romantic attachment are sometimes wrongly identified as the same.  Love brings peace and happiness.  Attachment results in disappointment, conflict, anger, codependency and eventually coldness in a relationship.    Love accepts another person exactly where he or she is in life and supports personal and spiritual growth.  Love comes from God.  Attachment comes from our ego or humanity.

You may be asking:   How do I get to the place in my life when I can love another without feeling hurt and disappointed?  Will I be able to accept my beloved without feeling angry?  Why do I emotionally overreact to minor problems?  In my work with clients, I energetically release past hurts, disappointments, anger and feelings of being unloved and unimportant. Once these emotional energies from the past are released, clients begin to fully "see" the present.  They are no longer emotionally reacting to the present through the eyes of past emotional pain.

For example, your mate forgets to get a special item at the grocery store.  While a plausible explanation may be that he or she was distracted or tired, your anger may flare because of the feeling that "he doesn't love me"  "he doesn't care about my needs"  "I'm not important to him." etc.  These are emotionally reactive assumptions made from the perspective where past emotional pain still exists.  In reality, your mate forgetting to buy your favorite item at the store may have nothing to do with how much he values you.

Past emotional pain or trauma is typically from a parent or past relationship in which you did not feel loved or valued or were abused emotionally/physically.  Releasing these emotions energetically stops you from reacting to the present based on the past.   In these cases I use, the Emotional Freedom Technique, the Emotion Code, flower essences, aromatherapy, color light therapy, spiritual counseling, and Tapas Acupressure Technique--all which are very effective to release trapped emotional energy.  These methods are faster, less painful and less expensive than traditional talk therapy as they are effective without having to relive the past in great detail.   When clients return after emotional release sessions, they commonly report that people are treating them differently.  This is because the emotional energy they are now projecting is more positive and confident.  It only takes one person to heal in a relationship for the relationship to shift between two people.

Another vital part to developing love within is through worship, prayer and a relationship with God, Christ and the Holy Spirit.  Worship of God puts God in the unique place of being above all and does not make any human a god.  It is through this understanding that we are able to let go of attachments and expectations of others because we are reminded that no person is God, nor are they perfect. They are human. This realization helps us to release expectations and judgments towards others.   By remembering that only God is perfect, we are able to give each other grace and have peace in our relationships.  As we grow in Christ and the Holy Spirit, we open our hearts to accept forgiveness, and we forgive ourselves and others.  By experiencing God's grace and mercy, we are able to love others unconditionally through His Love.

By being free of past emotional hurts and connected to God we are able to expand and grow a loving mind and spirit.   Loving thoughts and emotions reduce stress and prevent physical disease.  This is because we are not generating toxic thoughts and emotions which produce neuropeptides that are toxic to our bodies.  This concept has been thoroughly explained in a book by Dr. Candace Pert,TheMolecules of Emotions.  In my role as a traditional naturopath, diet, nutritional supplements and detoxification play an important role in the physical healing of the body and are often recommended by me.  What must also be recognized is the equally important impact of emotions and thoughts on physical health.  Also, the better we feel physically, the easier it becomes to not engage in negative thinking and toxic emotions which can make us physically sick.

Loving is the act of appreciating your beloved for his or her differences, encouraging growth and is kind and patient.  Only a whole person can love another in this way.  This wholeness is realized by energetic emotional release, healing of the physical body, and relationship with God.