What's with the weird title? Long story short, I made one little technical error while backing up my PC before reformatting the hard drive and lost EVERYTHING. Articles, ebooks and the latest edit of the book I've been working on for over 5 years. I lost all passwords, my virtual daily planner, contacts, programs, everything. Those losses have caused a lot of pain too, but nothing hurt as much as losing all the original works I've worked so hard on through the past months and years.

I bring this topic to you because strange as it may sound, I went through a period of mourning for my lost stuff! I'm guessing those of you who have made similar errors can probably relate to this. However, anyone who hasn't lost this amount of personal work may think I'm being quite dramatic. I don't blame you. Seems weird. I mean, to mourn the loss of stuff, mere content, may seem trivial. But I disagree.

It was only once I was well into %C3%BCbler-Ross" Elisabeth Kübler-Ross ' 5 stages of grief that I realized how this process applies to many forms of loss. Now, I'm no stranger to this process; I've lost many important people and pets in my life, as well as having coped with facing my own catastrophic illness. So, once I first realized I was working through these stages over mere data I was a bit embarrassed. Then I found it almost humorous. Then it began making sense. Here's how it went:

Denial– I was sure there was a way to retrieve the lost data, even though in the back of my mind I knew better. I understood the logistics of what had happened. But still, I didn't sleep for two full nights as I toiled over my poor lifeless laptop, trying to resurrect the precious data. I spoke with several data recovery specialists, ran DIY data recovery programs, dug around the folders and files and rechecked the external hard drive (where the back-up should have been placed) countless times. Finally I had to accept the truth.

Anger– This is when the anger and tears started. Rage really. I cussed and wept and even punched the desk a few good times. I'm not generally an angry or aggressive person, so this was quite a display for me. This went on for a couple of days in an ebb and flow between the anger and bargaining.

Bargaining– I pleaded with my PC, "Please, just the book, just the one book I've worked sooo hard on!" Searching PC, then external hard drive, "Maybe I indeed did back up at least the book." But really I knew better, because I had placed everything from my PC into one back up folder. So retrieving just one thing was an impossibility, but that didn't keep me from searching for that one file over and again. Once I realized the illogical nature of what I was doing I stopped searching.

Depression– That's when the depression took over. Not just a little malaise, I'm talkin "I can never recreate all that work, my writing career is over," "I'm going back to school and changing careers!" Yep, I took it that far. I decided I simply didn't have the heart to even try to start rebuilding everything that was lost. I considered moving away to a cabin in the woods and living off the land, joining the circus, laying in bed the rest of my life and reveling in my misfortune. Oh, I went all out on the depression stage!

Acceptance– Finally I woke one morning and I felt anew. I had finally come to terms with my loss and felt ready to move on. I still get twinges now and then, but all in all I'm on the road to recovery and I'm now working on piecing back together my "virtual" life and working on all new content.

Granted, when one is faced with a catastrophic or life threatening illness these stages are long and drawn out, very painful and life changing, to say the least. And honestly, I went through this whole data grieving process in about a week's time. Okay, so clearly this type of loss doesn't begin to rival the loss of a loved one or one's own health, but nonetheless, the stages were played out much the same way.

Once I had gone through this, came to the point of acceptance and had time to breathe and think clearly, I became quite fascinated with my reaction and here we are.

Why did I bring this to you? Because I think we often fail to allow and honor our emotions, especially ones that don't seem "worthy" of our time or acknowledgment. Heck, some people have truly traumatic losses in their lives and they refuse to honor the emotional processes necessary for proper healing. They feel they don't have the time, or were taught from a very young age that their emotions weren't all too important and some just don't feel like they could cope with actually feeling their feelings. So they go about stuffing them down into deep recesses of the mind and soul. Ouch! Now anyone who's suffered physical constipation can surely understand how painful and detrimental allowing things to back up can be. Well, emotional constipation can be just as, if not moreso, detrimental to one's well being!

So, if there's one thing I'd like this article to do, it's to show you how natural, common and necessary it is to honor and indulge your emotional reactions and processes. I may have used some silly analogies, but I believe it gets the point across.

When a loved one suffers a loss, you expect them to grieve and you do what you can to help them cope with their feelings and get back on their feet, right? I'm just suggesting you give yourself and your own feeling the same respect and attention.