In order to become an effective hypnotist, it's vital to have good rapport skills. Rapport with subjects is key in building trust, helping them relax, and getting them to be receptive to suggestion. Because of this, it's important to know some of the key points of building rapport – and what mistakes are commonly made when trying to build it.

It may seem surprising, but one of the first most common mistakes new hypnotists make is trying to be too nice. Of course it's important to be kind and polite, but it's possible to go overboard with this. In order to develop a good rapport with people, full communication is vital. This means saying everything that needs to be said, even things that may be unpleasant. So the basic fix for this mistake: be nice, but not at the expense of full communication. Say what must be said, or you will not develop good rapport.

The second common mistake is trying too hard. Trying too hard sends signals of desperation, that we are too eager to please or too desperate to make people listen to us. Desperation repels people and pressures them, and can lead to a complete shut down in communication. If you have to try too hard, it is more likely that you will fail to build a solid rapport with your clients. Once you recognize how you should communicate with someone, let your unconscious take over – your instincts – and then implement the basic steps of hypnosis. Rapport will develop naturally.

The third mistake is to want something from someone too much. We can become pushy and overbearing, and this leads to the subconscious shutting down. When the hypnotist pushes too much, the subject will react negatively by backing off or shutting down completely (think of overbearing car salesmen trying to get you to buy from them). The solution to this third mistake is to pace yourself in how you attempt to build rapport. Don't push yourself on the subject too much; instead give them a little, then draw back and let them come to you and re-engage you at their own leisure. Every time this process is repeated, you will be digging a little deeper into their comfort zones until a strong and solid rapport is established.

If you find yourself falling into any of these mistakes, implement the 'instant rapport technique' which is discussed in many hypnosis manuals and is often practiced by experienced hypnotists. This way, the unconscious will not shut down, but rather will become receptive to normal rapport signals you send to the subject.