How to persuade : What to focus on during dialogue? > Listening and Speaking

An article from: how-to-persuade.blogspot.com (it's my blog :)DURING DIALOGUE
FOCUS ON:

The persons judgments and points of view. He/she will rather talk about his/her own problems and wills.


Just imagine or remember the people talking about their problems, explaining their life and talking only about themselves. You probably would not like that type of communication, because it doesn't give you what you want. What do you want? What all of us want? We want people listen to us, talk about our problems, think like we do. If we start a topic about ourselves, our problems, our ideas … we never want it to change, we never want topic to become “his/her problems”, “their problems” etc. And of course the person will like and love to talk to you if you will be making judgments and think like he/she does, and if you talk about her/his problems.

MIMIC & GESTURES:

The facial expressions should be underlined. If you are talking about something bad it should not be happy, and if you are talking about something good it should not be sad, and so on. Your face should show what you are talking about, and even if the person doesn’t hear your voice, he/she should be able to understand your emotions looking at your mimic. Remember that while talking to someone words are not the only thing the person will receive. He/she will receive your voice tone, your mimics, your gestures. Everything above is true for gestures too.

SPEAKING AND LISTENING:
While speaking, focus on the interests of the person. But when he/she starts to speak, listen, but listen in an active way.

I bet you have an experience when the person you are talking to doesn’t let you talk about what you want, by interrupting you every time you start to talk. You just feel like he/she has finished the speech, and want to start, BUT he/she interrupts you. This could quite annoying especially if it repeats for a few times, you start to feel uncomfortable talking to this person and start not to listening to him/her.

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without interrupting him/her is a big step towards success." />
ACTIVE LISTENING:

- Lean forward a little bit

Don’t stay away from the person you are talking to. This will show that you are interested in and care about what he/she is talking about.

- Establish a stable eye contact

A good eye contact is the very important part of communication. While the person you are talking to is saying something you should look to his/her eyes, otherwise imagine a situation that you are looking somewhere else, it would look like you are not listening to him/her, even though you do.

- Nod
Nod or bob, whatever you call it, shaking your head downward and upwards is the sign of agreement, a sign that you understand and saying “of course” without any words.

- Without interrupting say something like “yeah, of course, aha” or anything else to make him know that you are listening to him/her and care about what he/she is saying. Otherwise if you’ll be silent, it would make an impression that you are thinking about something else, may be about your own ideas or problems, or something.

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TO A PERSON WILL GIVE A NEGATIVE RESULT.A PERSON ALWAYS RESISTS RESTRICTION OF HIS/HER CHOICE." />