Time alone can be quite unbearable for some people. They have no sense of inner peace and some will believe they are odd for not being surrounded with friends, not having a boy/girl friend or not involved in some other group activity.

Why would one avoid themself? There can be many reasons but may stem from anxiety and fear of being alone. Depending and expecting others to fulfill one’s life is a unrealistic expectation that nobody can live up to and unfair to others and yourself. Following this belief leads to setting oneself up for disappointment and the continued quest for meaning with more relationships or new friends.

The concept of self is familiar territory for everybody. We all have a image of ourselves in our minds but reality may differ. A healthy self-concept is flexible and forgiving. People change and so that includes you and me from moment to moment. Resistance to change is strong and may include strongly clinging to a past version of ourselves.

Denial of favorable changes in ourselves leads to poor self-esteem and may include self-destructive behaviors and self-fulfilling prophecies. There are two types of self-fulfilling prophecies ;

One -when your own expectations influence your behavior

Two – the expectations of another person(s), govern your actions

Personal growth and self-improvement is a lifetime journey. Dissatisfaction results from expecting too much of yourself and others. Failure is the result of unrealistic expectations.

To overcome a poor self-concept is to get real and accept that we may have a very inaccurate image of ourselves. Our behaviors indicate clearly to others and the saying, ‘Actions speak louder,’ may hold true for you and me. Are you nice or cruel to others?

Record a list of who you are, what you know, what you don’t know, good and bad behaviors. Make changes to the what you don’t know and bad behaviors. Learning new skills and knowledge helps to improve your self worth. A second method to improve self-concepts is to find a positive role model and observe their interactions with others which will help you build your own interpersonal style.

Change can be easy or difficult for people but it is possible. Keeping to a list of desirable qualities and actions will increase your self esteem and image. Take the time to learn who you are and what makes you smile. Once you start discovering your sources of happiness the need to seek others out will subside and fear of being alone will be something of the past.