Silence is golden -- especially when you have something important to say

I read something the other day that really shook me up. Not in the negative sense, but positively -- as positively as possible.

It concerns one of the biggest bugaboos of public speaking. Most novice speakers appear to have a deadly fear of silence. If for even a fraction of a second nothing is coming out of their mouth, they seem to feel that something is wrong. This is a principal cause of all the "uh," "um," "eh", "ah", "you know" and other useless—and distracting—noises that sully their presentations.

There are all kinds of logical arguments why this donkey-like braying is both unnecessary and detrimental. Understanding them can significantly help to reduce them, virtually to zero.

I once wrote an article on the subject, which is largely reproduced below. However, it did not include this remarkable insight which, fortuitously, recently came to my attention. In this revised version, it now does. I won't tell you which one it is until the end of the article to see if you agree. I am almost certain you will. But if you don't, I would appreciate if you would tell me why. I would very much like to know.

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One of the absolute, unmistakable characteristics of inexperienced speakers is their incessant use of "uh," "um," "eh", "ah", "you know", and other distracting sounds, particularly at the start of each new sentence.

Novice speakers employ these unnecessary noises seemingly because they dread the "sound of silence." It's as if someone has told them that public speaking means that something must always be coming out of their mouth, at all times, under all conditions, no matter what.

This idea is incorrect; moreover, it is counterproductive. As professional speakers know, silence is a natural and necessary part of any good presentation.

The most common justification for all this grunting and groaning is, "I'm not always certain of the next thing to say, so I need time to think."

In reality, these unnecessary noises hinder thinking rather than helping it. Instead of allowing you to fully concentrate on your mental search, your lungs, larynx, and mouth are engaged in useless activity. Because these sounds are audible, your ears are also engaged in useless activity.

It may be argued that these unnecessary noises are only minor distractions, which is true. However, they are distractions. Eliminating them in favor of a second or two of silence will help focus your attention.

A second or two of silence will also help focus the attention of your audience. No matter how interesting, pertinent, and well-organized your presentation, listeners occasionally need a moment's break in order to better absorb and assimilate what you have been saying. Silence provides these crucial respites.

Using silence instead of noise while you are thinking confers another important benefit. It gives the impression that you are careful and conscientious, i.e. you are fully in control of your subject matter. This, of course, is precisely what you want. It is also precisely what your audience wants. After all, they have spent time and energy to come hear what you have to say, so they want to be reassured that it was worth the effort. The more you appear to be in control, the happier they are.

Finally, a brief silence from time to time helps turn the monologue of a speech into a dialogue with the audience. Although they are not really speaking, the pause allows them to guess what may come next. Right or wrong, they have the feeling of being on stage with you. This firmly links them to what you are saying.

Thus, far from helping your presentation, "uh," "um," "eh", "ah", and other unnecessary noises are detrimental to it and must be eliminated.

This may seem a daunting task; however, it is easier than you might imagine. If you now agree that these unnecessary noises impede thinking rather than aiding it, you have already taken the first crucial step. If you also agree that silence benefits your presentation rather than damaging it, you have already taken the second crucial step.

It is now only necessary to apply this knowledge.

The next time you give a presentation, consciously concentrate on avoiding these detrimental noises by putting silences in their place. At first this may feel strange. However once you experience how silences help your thinking and impress your audience, the strangeness will quickly disappear. Using helpful silences rather than destructive noises will rapidly become natural and automatic.

The speed at which this changeover takes place can sometimes be startling, virtually from one day to the next.

Have you guessed which "sound of silence" insight has been added to the list? It is the last one about turning a monologue into a dialogue, for which I am deeply indebted to eminent speaker and storyteller Lou Heckler.

No one likes being talked "at", but virtually everyone appreciates being talked "to". If they feel a real connection between them and the speaker, they will pay greater attention and be more amenable to what the speaker is saying.

This is exactly the relationship we want with the reader when we write. But how can we achieve it? After all, speakers can pause, but writers can't. Or can they?

It is not obvious, but good writers pause all the time, often without consciously realizing it. Pauses on the written page can be achieved in at least three ways.

First, you can resist the modern trend to eliminate commas. Properly used, commas provide exactly the pause (sound of silence) required. Look at the difference between these two sentences:

A.   To be meaningful data must be organized to create information.

B.   To be meaningful data, must be organized to create information.

A.   As we have seen unnecessary data damages understanding and ultimately undermines confidence.

B.   As we have seen, unnecessary data damages understanding and ultimately undermines confidence.

Many so-called modern writers would not use commas in sentences such as these. However, by not doing so, they lose the benefit to be gained by allowing the reader to catch up and engage in a silent dialogue with them.

Second, you can begin certain sentences with conjunctions. Grammarians often assert that this is a no-no, if not a cardinal sin. Again, look at the difference:

A.   Both of these PowerPoint slides give essentially the same information; however they don't have the same impact.

B.   Both of these PowerPoint slides give essentially the same information. However they don't have the same impact.

A.   You probably do this yourself, but what do you actually mean when you say a text or a speech has succeeded?

B.   You probably do this yourself. But what do you actually mean when you say a text or a speech has succeeded?

Finally, you can use "psychological" rather than "grammatical" paragraphing.

You may have noticed that many of the paragraphs in this article are quite short, even only one sentence. I am certain you didn't learn paragraphing like this in school, and would have been marked down if you had tried it.

Some people who use ungrammatically short paragraphs claim that they help maintain reader interest, because readers dislike large blocks of text. This is true. However, there is an even better reason for using them. Psychological paragraphs help to dramatize certain key ideas, thereby engaging the reader.

You have just seen an example of this.

The sentence "Finally, you can use psychological rather than grammatical paragraphing" could easily have been combined with the next sentence starting "You may have noticed that many of the paragraphs in this article are quite short" to form a single paragraph. This is probably what most grammarians would do and insist that others do. However, some of the emphasis of that first sentence would have been lost, to the detriment of both clarity and reader participation.

If you have doubts about using such unorthodox paragraphing, look at any leading newspapers and magazine for reassurance. Short, dramatic paragraphing is one of the things that make these popular publications so easy and enjoyable to read.

By themselves, none of these examples may be convincing. But applying these techniques throughout an entire text can make a significant difference.

There are numerous other ways of introducing pauses, depending on one's individual writing style. However you go about it, whether in writing or speaking, don't shun silence. Embrace it.

Silence is indeed golden -- especially when you have something important to say.

Philip Yaffe is a former writer withThe Wall Street Journaland international marketing communication consultant. Now semi-retired, he teaches courses in persuasive communication in Brussels, Belgium. Because his clients use English as a second or third language, his approach to writing and public speaking is somewhat different from other communication coaches. He is the author ofThe Gettysburg Approach to Writing & Speaking like a Professional. Contact: phil.yaffe@yahoo.com,phil.yaffe@gmail.com.