David Crosby, a singer and songwriter who has quit every drug under the sun, including heroin and crack cocaine, was never able to quit smoking tobacco.  President Barack Obama has said that he backslides from time to time (which, translating from Politicianese means that he smokes), and Yours Truly has had very little success with quitting in many, many efforts.

Does this sound familiar?  You've tried to quit a million times and nothing works?  Don't worry about it.  There are a lot of us out there. Study after study has shown that some people's brains simply do not function properly without nicotine.  Even after a full year without smoking, a hardcore nicotine addict's brain still doesn't light up the way it should.

If you think you might be one of those unfortunate people who simply can't quit, the question you should be asking yourself is, "How can I minimize the damage?"

Nicotine will never be safe.  It is a carcinogen.  That is the bad news.  The good news is that you can minimize the damage caused by smoking itself while still delivering much-needed nicotine to your hard-wired brain.  Nicotine gum works well but tastes horrible.  The patch never did much for me because it doesn't provide any oral stimulation.  The only thing that really satisfies me are those new electric cigarettes.  They're great because you can "smoke" anywhere, and you don't get all the stink or stinky eyeballs.  I love smoking at my desk or in the supermarket.  It's awesome!  Plus, they're a lot cheaper than gum or the patch.  For me it works out to $4.20 a day to smoke these things.

So that's it.  You might not be able to quit, but you can protect yourself to a certain extent.  I bet David Crosby would have loved those new electric cigarettes.