The following article is a case study based on personal experience along with twenty years of hearing similar stories from colleagues and witnessing the consequent catastrophic results for the Body of Christ. While we generally prefer to highlight the wonderful aspects of being inheritors of this Movement and of the denomination we cherish, it is also crucial that we face the dark side of our organization. Never talking about these facts will not make them go away. Rather, like cancer, the unspoken will only spread until the entire body is desperately ill.

More of us than would care to admit it know of the reports of toxic behavior in congregations that have utterly consumed churches which were once faithful and vibrant. While we have taken steps to deal with ethical and sexual misbehavior within the clergy, who is dealing with the reality of rampant clergy abuse within our congregations? Where is the outcry against the injustice taking place in our own backyard -- the gross mistreatment of men and women in ministry at the hands of the very people they are caring for?

The following steps presented here track the disintegration of faith communities into mean-spirited social clubs that no one would want to join. These observations are meant to help readers recognize these signs within their own congregation in order to bring healing and transformation before it is too late. Here then are some of the key elements that contribute to the often self-imposed destruction of our congregations:

1.This is "my" church fallacy

The idea that this is “my” church is frequently stated innocently enough, but when it is meant in a possessive, territorial way, it is a serious perversion of Christ’s creation. A church is either the Church of Jesus Christ or it is not the church at all. The New Testament is absolutely clear on this point (Matthew 16:18; Ephesians 1:22; Colossians 1: 18). This confusion of ownership comes out of our tradition of self-governing congregations. The foundation on which this idea rests is that those in positions of authority who participate in the governance of the church are truly Christian people. If those in charge are not abiding by any standards of conduct that reflect a Christian life, or worse, if they have no interest in that life whatsoever, then the very concept of a self-governing church completely falls apart. What we have then is a group of people fighting it out for power and control rather than a representation of the Body of Christ on earth. This is one of those little discussed family secrets in our congregations. Without any accountability or reference to the nature of Church, the results are often little more than a blasphemous mockery of what church is meant to be.

Imagine a congregation that truly lives up to its name where its spiritual leaders are what the New Testament calls “saints of the church”, people glowing with goodness, compassion, and the love of God. It is under these conditions that self-governance can fulfill its potential.

2.The Pastor works for me

Another aspect of the distorted idea of “owning the church” is the idea of owing the pastor. There is certainly a paradox here: The pastor is indeed paid by the congregation but he or she is not merely its employee. When that is the case, the pastor is immediately stripped of any authentic spiritual leadership in people’s lives. The totality of the community participates in providing for their pastor’s livelihood because the community is committed to growing in the knowledge and love of God under the guidance of the pastor. When the pastor is reduced to a hired hand who is at the beck and call of the individuals paying for his or her salary, then the idea of “servant leadership” is reduced to “servant period”. I was told by an eyewitness of a pastor being literally kicked by members of the congregation. This may have been an extreme case, but there are many ways to kick someone emotionally and to severely cripple them. It is in this environment that malicious slander, back stabbing, and downright sabotage are commonplace.

Such abuse happens frequently in our churches because there is virtually no accountability for this sort of behavior. Henry Nouwen has called ministers “wounded healers” but I suspect he never imagined that the wounding would be done by the very people the healers are trying to help.

3.No accountability for behavior

This issue of not being accountable for behavior, even while being convicted by the Word of God read in church every Sunday, is a very serious problem for Disciple churches. Unlike other denominations, there is virtually no church discipline among us. Yet Matthew 18 makes very clear what the church must do when there are individuals in its midst who will not relent in their ungodly behavior. The words of Jesus Himself are specific and definitive (Matthew 18:17). They are not words of condemnation or punishment, but rather Divine wisdom letting us know that the alternative is the devastation of the faith community. In Luke 11 we are told that upon seeing Jerusalem, Jesus wept and said “if only you had known the time of your visitation.” How many of our congregations have failed to recognize the opportunities for treating each other in Christ-like ways and instead have chosen the ways of the world, even at the risk of self-destruction.

4.Disregard of policies and the will of the congregation

Despite the amount of time and effort that goes into drafting and approving the By-Laws of a congregation, it seems to be standard procedure to use them or disregard them at the whim of members trying to push through their own agendas. I have people quote By-Laws with more fervent devotion than the Bible itself and then, on other matters, overlook all written procedure to accomplish their aims. Behind this misuse of official church documents is the more fundamental issue of disregarding the corporate will of a community and seeking to force one’s own desires and requirements on a congregation. Some members will withhold their financial giving in order to weaken a church’s budget and thereby control the direction it must take. Others will reject majority decisions and obsessively pursue their agendas regardless of long term results. Such behavior damages any kind of genuine life in community and betrays the very nature of being a self-governed congregation. Under these circumstances, a congregation is controlled and manipulated by a few who have chosen personal power over Christ’s teachings. Such persons often exhibit an aggressive refusal to change and would rather take the ship down with them than insure the faithful continuance of the community after they are gone. In congregations victimized by this kind of unchristian behavior, meetings that deal with the business of the church are often infested with a toxic, secular atmosphere that derails the very reason for being church in the first place.

5.Lack of support from the wider Church

By the time congregations turn to regional officials for help in traumatic situations, it is either too late or they find that there are few resources to pull them out of the nose dive generated by chronic ugly behavior. There are times when the wider Church becomes caught up with the conflict and cannot find an objective or authoritative footing to resolve the problem. There have been occasions when regional officials actually sided with the members who were guilty of generating the conflict and damaging behavior. Even though their job description should have compelled them to assist the pastor and the rest of the church in a positive, healing way, they failed to contact the elected leadership of the church (such as the moderators) and assisted in leading congregations down a path they did not want to go and from which they would possibly not recover. Such lack of accountability across the structure of our denomination leaves us very vulnerable to repeated instances of abuse which, in the long run, will only bring ruin to communities whose primary purpose should be to reflect God’s love in this world.

To lose sight of that fundamental purpose is to bring spiritual death to a church long before its doors finally close. Our culture desperately needs the oasis of kindness, acceptance, and nurturing which is at the heart of being theekklesia(the “assembly of those who are called out” in order not to be like the rest of the world). It is especially tragic to witness congregations self-destruct because members do not choose to live out the most basic teachings of the Gospel. Let us take the words of the Apostle seriously:“I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”(Ephesians 4: 1-3)

Rev. Ted Nottingham is the pastor of Northwood Christian Church in Indianapolis. He can be reached at