Being Present & Making Choices

It is 2:00 am, the Lundenski's house is dark and quiet. John and Sheila went to bed well before 10:00 pm.  However, if you listen closely you will hear footsteps heading toward the kitchen. The refrigerator door opens and the light casts shadows upon the counter tops. Sheila is getting a midnight snack. She pulls out the leftovers, spaghetti and meatballs; she warms it up in the microwave and eats it standing up.

When Sheila is finished, she washes the dishes and puts them away.  This may seem completely normal to you. But Sheila doesn't realize that she has done any of this; she will wake up tomorrow with no recollection of any of it. In the morning she will make coffee, get the creamer out of the fridge and she will be dismayed once again to find food missing.  She will accuse John of eating it and he will deny it. She can't understand why he is so hungry lately and why he won't own up to eating things when she asks him.  Plus, spaghetti is her favorite and she was looking forward to having it for lunch. Now she will have to settle for a boring sandwich.

Sheila is one of millions of people who suffer from a disorder called sleepwalking. However, there are some that would say that all of us are sleepwalkers. We go through the motions of living with little more awareness than someone who is daydreaming.

The average human being has over 50,000 thoughts every day. However, if you could look at each of these thoughts, you would notice that you spend very, little time in the present moment.  Instead of focusing in the here and now, your mind wanders to the I wish I could haves, I wish I would haves and the what ifs of your past. You also probably spend a lot of time focusing on what you want in the future or actually what you don't want in your future.

How many times have you heard someone say "If only I was 10 years younger, I would travel more, exercise more, or some other thing that they feel they can no longer do?" Then there are the fears that you project onto your thoughts of the future.  "What if there isn't enough money to last until…?", "What if I get sick?" and on and on these thoughts just keep going, all day long. You waste so many moment's of your life sleepwalking your way through each and every day.

What you need to understand is that you live where your attention is and you are blessed with the power to control where you put your attention. See all human beings have been given a beautiful gift. This gift is the free will of choice. You get to choose what you think about in every given moment. You get to choose whether you are going to live in the past, present or future.

The only moment that matters is this "moment" right now. What are you doing in your life right now? Are you happy? If the answer is no, what is going to make you happy right now? If you want something for your future, what steps are you taking "right now" to make this your reality? Whether you are still working or enjoying retirement, don't waste your days by not enjoying where you are currently. The past is the past. You can't relive it and you can't change it. The future will always be in the future. You can plan for it, you can worry about it, but in the end the only thing that matters is what you are doing right now. If you don't like where your life is – change what you are doing right now.

Learning to be present is much like potty training a puppy.  It takes lots of patience and lots of forgiveness. Don't be too hard on yourself when you catch yourself in the past or the future. Gently bring yourself back to the present and see the beauty of life. Listen to the birds chirp, the wind blow. Notice how your feet are touching the ground, how your back is touching the chair you are sitting in.

Other things you can do to practice being present are meditation, walking, singing or gardening. Really, you can practice being present in anything and everything you do. Remember that you live where your attention is and the only moment that matters right now is this one.

by Traci Brosman, World Wellness Education