Anger-Change Your Feelings To Change Your BehaviourHuman mind is given the credit for being a thinking mind. But our behaviour is not determined by our thinking. Our behaviour is determined by our emotional and instinctual drives. That makes us as good as animals. And that is what we all are. We are all ‘thinking animals'. If you disagree with this statement, then you simply need to look at the history of humankind and without going far, read daily newspapers. When people cheat others, kill others, maim others, they are not thinking. They are driven by their animal drives to do what they do. So what is at the back of human behaviour? It is the emotional drives that make a person lose control over their behaviour. Anger and fear are two commonly powerful emotions that determine an individual's behaviour. How many times have you acted out in anger and later regretted? How many times have you felt fearful for no reason ? A problem becomes worse when you dwell on it. The emotional distress increases as a result. If you are feeling angry about a particular topic or incident, dwelling on it will make the emotions stronger. If you go and meet the person involved in the incident, in an angry state, your behaviour will be aggressive. On the other hand a surprising thing happens when you remember the event repeatedly in your mind from start to finish. The emotional distress reduces after a temporary increase. This is a simple secret that is not well known. I have used this method to help my clients change their behaviour. So when the feelings change, you approach the issue differently. So changing your feelings does change your behaviour. |