Today, kids start wading into the social networking waters as soon as their little fingers can type, exploring digital "communities," many of them designed mainly to stoke their fascination with particular toys. New sites launch constantly, targeting an ever-younger audience.

KINDERGARTEN THRU EARLY SCHOOL AGE

The focus is on communal game-playing and earning points to buy virtual things, rather than socializing. There's some messaging between friends, but most sites allow young kids only to post messages using prewritten, generic phrases or words from a tightly restricted dictionary. Kids can't share personal information like a home address. Among the most popular:

Webkinz.com: Free for one year with purchase of a Webkinz or Lil'Kinz toy. Owners feed and clothe digital versions of their plush "pets" and play games to earn virtual "KinzCash." They can play video games against other kids or take quizzes designed for players 5+. They're rewarded for spending lots of time on the site, so you may need to impose time limits. Safety-wise, kids can't type messages that go beyond select phrases unless a parent approves their access to the "KinzChat PLUS" area. In that area (recommended for ages 10+), kids can only use words from the site's dictionary.

Clubpenguin.com: This hugely popular Disney-owned website charges a membership fee (about $5/month, depending on the plan you choose). Kids are represented by penguin avatars rather than by images of themselves. By playing games, they earn virtual money to clothe and accessorize their penguins and decorate their igloos. They can send other penguins a "buddy invite," visit their igloo, chat using predetermined phrases—unless they get clearance from parents to chat freely—and send postcards, among other things. (They can also snub each other!) Designed for kids 6-14, but open to all ages.

ELEMENTARY and MIDDLE SCHOOL

Scallyroo.com : Free, designed for teens and tweens 8-15 years old. Like Webkinz and ClubPenguin, it is extremely safe and has elements that involve the parent. Scallyroo takes another approach from all the others. This site strives to better connect parents to their kids in an online world, by offering tools that bridge their communication. Kids can set goals with their parents, can shop responsibly with parental oversight and can share calendar events with their friends and family. In fact, parents can even peer into their child's profile and help manage their account, such as accepting/rejecting friends requests and overseeing their daily calendar. Scallyroo takes more of an academic approach then the others with its scholastic tools and can be useful for both younger and older kids as it caters to a wider age range. This site really strikes the balance between what's cool for kids and what parents want as far as online safety is concerned.

YOUNG TEENS AND BEYOND

Myspace and Facebook were once the realm of college students and grown-ups, but high school and even middle school kids have discovered them. Facebook is now open to anyone 13 and older, and the minimum age on MySpace is 14. Sound far away? Your kids may already be seeing their friends' older siblings using these sites, or they may even have fudged their birthdate to register themselves! If you're not already using them, learn about them now.

Both sites offer broad freedom to post words, images, audio files and video. So step one is talking with your kids about the importance of not sharing personal information with strangers, not posting photos that could embarrass themselves or their friends, and steering clear of cyber-bullying. But the risk with these sites is that anyone can post a comment about your child or identify them in the caption of an embarrassing photo—kids can't control their friends' behavior. Older versions of a web page are stored on servers and can pop up when your child least expects it — like during the college admissions process.

Your child shouldn't accept "friend requests" from people he or she doesn't know well (another benefit of a site like scallyroo.com ; having control over who your child is friends with). Join these sites along with your kids and immediately set up a "friend" connection with them. They may not like it, but then you can see who their friends are and what they're posting.

My Verdict: Scallyroo.com is the best for your Teens and Tweens when considering the amount of kid-centric tools it offers, plus the added benefit of having parental control at your disposal.