The Teenage Daughter's Failures and Disappointments

Failures and disappointments are as natural as the dark roots in a platinum blondes hair. How do we as mothers prepare our daughters for the bumps and bruises up ahead though?

"The Secrets to Having the Teenage Daughter you Actually Like"with Dr. Cheryl Guy

In preparation for the hard falls that customarily come with dating, I often remind girls that dating is like learning to play the guitar. When one starts, they aren't good at it. Over time, with practice it becomes better.

Just as there are broken strings while playing the guitar, there are broken hearts while dating. That is what makes it so bad and so good at the same time. During the disappointments our daughters can regroup and make a better boyfriend choice the next time around. It is all about practicing for the "real thing" to come along. If while dating, there are no hurts and disappointments, how can girls be better prepared when their "Mr. Right" comes along? Disappointments if not closely monitored, can turn into teenage depression. Depression begins to set in when an individual is not able to properly cope with failures and disappointments. Rather than depositing them into their mental accounts and withdrawing them in a reasonable amount of time, individuals choose to leave them in and allow them to collect interest. Collecting mental interest turns into depression.

Help your daughter to put and pull her failures and disappointments into their respectful accounts. Encourage her to talk about what is going on in her life. Take her away from her normal surroundings and get her into a different environment as you talk. Whatever you do, don't tell her that she shouldn't feel what she feels. She is entitled to feel the pain. Ordering it, depositing it, and withdrawing it back out is the keys to moving forward though.

Let her know she doesn't have to go through it alone. Moms and daughters can have a very sweet and special relationship during the teen years despite the relationship you may have had with your own mother when you were a teenager.