Do you ever find it hard saying “no” to colleagues? Sometimes saying “yes” seems like the easier option, however by saying “yes” to extra work, you could be setting yourself up for added stress and possible failure. There are only so many hours in your day and you can only get so much work done. Saying “yes” when you mean “no” can be dangerous. Who would have thought that “yes”, that little three-letter word could cause such trouble?

Learn to ignore the guilt

Guilt is a huge part of why many people say “yes” to colleagues or clients when they really want to say “no”. Guilt is not a pleasant feeling so we all try and avoid it as much as possible.

Perhaps you think that if you say “no” to someone else will have to do the work and that may make you feel guilty. Did you ever stop to think that other people might not have as much to do as you? Maybe you are the best person for the job, but are you the best person for the job when you don’t have the time or energy to put 100% effort into it?

Maybe you’ll feel like you’ve let someone down, but you’ll let them down even more if you say “yes” and then fail to deliver the task or project on time. According to the famous Mayo Medical Clinic, it’s important to let go of the guilt and not let it influence your decisions. Their medical research suggests you “Do what you’ve set out to do and don’t veer off that path because of feelings of guilt or obligation, as it will only lead to additional stress”.

“Yes” or “No”?
A good idea to limit the stress and challenge of taking on too much work or committing yourself to additional projects is to “Weigh up the ‘yes’ to stress factor”. Take time to think about what you’ve been asked to do and what impact it will have on you if you do say “yes”. Is it going to cause you extra pressure? If it is, the answer is simple. Politely say “no”…

Ask yourself a few simple questions before you say “yes”:

• Do I have the time for this extra work?
• Will it affect my other work?
• Could it affect my personal life because I will be working late?
• Will I regret saying “yes” later?
• Is there anyone else who could do this task better than me?

4 steps for getting your “yes” under control

Step #1– recognise that you have just as much right to say “no” as anyone.

Step #2– be polite but very clear about your answer. Say, “I’m sorry, I’d love to help but I need to focus on what I’m doing right now. Perhaps I can help you towards the end of the week?”

Step #3– if you can, consider offering an alternative. For example you could say, “I can’t do it today, but I can work on this later this week. Would that be alright?”

Step #4– do you know someone who could help instead? Offering an
alternative solution will help allay any guilty feelings. Remember, you should never just say no. Always offer a reason and a possible solution.

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