You’re working on your best man speech for your best buddy Paul.  The two of you know each other so well that you practically speak in code.  You both know that when Paul says “Baby, I’m not from Havana” he means that he may be a macho hedge fund manager, but even he has his limits.   And when you tell him “shut up you Teutonic Twit”, it’s not an insult about his German heritage, but a term of endearment.  But the only people who know what you’re talking about are people like you and Paul who have seenBlazing Saddles100 times.

Inside jokes (or lines, stories, expressions) can be a great way to bring to life something personal about the groom and to show people the special relationship you share -- andshowingis always better thantelling.But using an inside joke can also be tricky – you have to figure out how to have a good laugh with your buddy while not excluding, confusing, or even worse, insulting the other guests.

Here are a few tips on how to make the most of inside jokes in your best man speech.

Start off by making a list of all the inside stories and jokes you share.  Are any of them a good way to poke fun at the groom?  Do they offer some insight about his romantic side?  Do they reflect a character trait that relates to his professional accomplishments?  Can one be used to set up some advice for the bride and groom?

Then think about how to deliver the joke for maximum impact.  You might break it down by these three sections:

First, toss in a reference to the inside joke while looking directly at the groom. Watch your buddy crack up hysterically and see the look of panic as he ponders what other secrets you might be poised to tell.  Be sure to give it enough time to savor the moment and make him sweat a bit.

Next bring everyone else in on the joke.  Tell them what the joke’s about (sanitizing when necessary), how it got started and maybe even share a story about when your little inside joke turned out to be really, really embarrassing (like when you called Paul a “Teutonic Twit” within earshot of the head of the company’s German office).

Finally, relate your joke to a larger theme about the groom and your friendship.  So, for example, when Paul says “Baby, I’m not from Havana” relate it back to the fact that underneath Paul’s macho exterior he really is very humble.

For help capturing the special relationship you have with the groom in your best man speech, visit , the world’s largest collection of best man speech material.  The site’s interactive speech builder will enable you to create a killer one-of-a-kind speech.  You can combine your personal stories with your selections from the site’s thousands of short-form content options that fit every imaginable style and situation. The result will be a memorable speech that’s polished, but all your own.