Drink!The dreaded drink. Or to be more precise – too much drink has been the ruin of far too many lovingly organised weddings. Call me a killjoy, if you will, for even mentioning it, but it’s true – far too true.

How many brides have spent weeks and months organising their dream wedding, only to have the memory of the day completely soured by a ‘loose cannon’ of best man drinking too much? How many grooms look back on their wedding day and cringe when they remember what their best man said about them in front of their new bride and their new in-laws? Why, oh why, didn’t the bride and groom sit down with the best man in advance and explain that this wedding is costing them a fortune in time, in money and in human emotions?

They should tell him that they are depending on the best man to contribute to the success of the wedding – he’s part of the winning team . And that if he feels that he can’t do it, or would rather not do it, or will be so nervous about doing it that he will drink too much... then opt out now! You should say all this to your best man before the wedding ceremony.

Jokes!The dreaded smutty  jokes. Or even worse, mother-in-law jokes that are in downright bad taste can destroy even the happiest wedding ceremonies. There is absolutely no need for these kinds of jokes at a wedding. And I say this with 100% confidence. Because there are hundreds and thousands of genuinely funny jokes in existence.

If you don’t know any yourself, go online and spend a bit of time looking for one. I guarantee you’ll find one. Your wedding is a special day. It’s an important landmark in your life. You should make it very clear to your best man, in advance of your wedding, that dirty jokes, in-law jokes or jokes that are in any way dubious, are absolutely out! Tell him clearly that his job is to make the wedding a success – he’s part of the team.

Nerves!The dreaded nerves that just about all of us suffer from when we have to stand up in front of an audience and make a speech. Most people suffer from nerves. And when we are nervous, most people forget things and most people talk too fast. Remind your best man that he is not a professional actor with a prompter in the wings to help him out when his mind goes blank. He’s on his own. And everybody will be looking at him. So he absolutely must have a written copy of his speech to hand, that he can directly read from if his mind goes blank.

Some speakers prefer to use prompt cards – a selection of cards with the salient points of their speech written on them. If your best man plans to use prompt cards, tell him in advance of the wedding ceremony to carefully number each one of his cards. You’d be surprised how easy it is, amid all the nervous fidgeting and fumbling, for prompt cards to get out of the correct sequence. When this happens, some best men get completely thrown and they never recover to give a decent speech.

Yes! They can ruin a wedding with their fumbling!

So here they are again, three things that you should tell your best man before a wedding:

1/Go easy on the drink– don’t spoil our wonderful day

2/Don’t try and be a comedian– Remember, dirty jokes, in-law jokes or jokes that are in any way dubious, are absolutely out!

3/Anticipate nerves- have a written speech to hand. There are best man speech websites that can supply you with a professionally written best man’s speech in less than 60 seconds. So if you haven’t got time to type up your speech, why not download a typed-up best man’s speech from the web.