These are the things you need in order to give yourself this rejuvenating treatment in the privacy of your home. Apart from the standard pots and pans, and the obvious enema bag and tube, you will also need a source of filtered water (as opposed to chlorinated water, which will kill but not the least; you will of course need a quantity of organic, fully caffeinated coffee. Also keep a supply of water-based lubricant jelly nearby, just in case you need some for help with the tube insertion.

Pour eight cups of filtered water into a pot and bring it to a boil. Add as many heaped tablespoonfuls of ground organic coffee. Use a French Press, if available, to strain of the right temperature, it is better to make a mistake on the lower side rather than risking burning your innards. Pour the coffee into the enema bag, making sure the value is switched off, and hang it no higher than one meter from the floor. Turn on the valve to let the air out and let the coffee flow to the end of the tube before closing the value again. Spread a thin layer of lubricant at the end of the tube about two inches high.

Lie down on your right side, with your right leg straight and left leg bent. Insert the tube into the rectum about two inches deep. Open the valve and let the coffee flow for about two to three minutes, or until the bag is drained. Remove the tube and retain the enema for ten to twenty minutes, and change your position a few times during retention. During the entire process, it’s helpful to relax and take deep breaths. A light massaging of the abdomen from left to right is also considered beneficial. When time for excretion, do so without pushing.

Coffee Enemas should be repeated every day for a week or so, to achieve full effect. You should be able to feel your bowels churning slightly – if you don’t, you may want to increase the concentration of coffee, but not beyond two tablespoonfuls per cup.