It’s important to you that the guy you’re about to sleep with has been tested for HIV or  STDs, but how do you go about asking him without ruining the moment or seeming distrustful?

This can be a very tricky situation, so it’s better to deal with it head-on rather than beat around the bush. The last thing you want to do is lose the courage to ask and sleep with someone who may have a disease. Here are some tips that should help you get the info you need:

•    Don’t wait till the last minute. If you’re already in bed and the heat’s already turned up, then there’s a good chance you’ll either forget to ask, decide you don’t really care (even though you really do), or that he’ll just skirt the issue with a quick, unclear answer so you can continue getting your groove on. Even if it seems awkward to you, it’s important that you ask him if he’s recently been tested before things start to heat up. That way, you can have a real conversation and get real answers.
•    Let him know that you trust him. To make all situations fair and equal, reassure this new dude that this is something extremely important to you and so you go through the same drill with all potential partners. Lots of guys don’t even know if they have an STD, so recent test results are key, even if he’s “sure” that he’s clean.
•    Offer your own STD and HIV test results. This will prove to him that it’s just a matter of personal policy to share results. You’re not testing him or setting a trap, but are laying out the info, from both sides.
•    If he hasn’t been tested, then you can ask him to please do so before you guys take your relationship to the next level. He should respect your diligence and you should express your appreciation.