A thought occurred to me after reading the article “The other side of it” in yesterday’s paper, it was how hard women have to try even to be considered equal and then have society slapping them in the face for it. Why does a woman have to justify herself when she even compares herself to a man? This question has dogged me to no end and the worst part is other women criticise them too. When a man puts his career ahead of his family no questions are asked as he is termed to be focussed in life and when a woman does it she is considered negligent. To support this argument of course Indian Culture is used as we Indians have this strong cultural fabric which separates us from the rest of the world (read the west). Give it a rest already; the claim over moral superiority is a farce to say the least.

The first question that comes to mind is that who defined these roles to specific genders? We respect our women so we deny them rights and independence and keep them locked up in our houses to take care of the children and wash clothes, Is that not what women are supposed to do in the first place? Why don’t women have an equal right to do in life as they choose without the burden of society on their society like most men enjoy currently. Granted that the most important person in a child’s life is his/her mother but why can’t fathers take equal responsibility of the children or share household chores. What is so unholy or wrong in that, it surely is not a crime to do that but for women to think that way is I suppose.

Women are being taught to be independent and made to believe that they are the better sex, which is such a juvenile thought in itself. We still live in a society where a male child is more celebrated, dowry still exists, domestic violence is rampant and thanks to sonograms there are lesser women compared to men. I do not see anybody objecting to that side because it is sadly an accepted fact. A woman has to try so hard to be respected in what were considered to be exclusively male domains, why if it were not for a few brave women who faced and braved being socially ostracised then women would not have had the courage to go to schools and universities, having an education was also an act of defiance. After watching a few television commercials and shows there is a consensus that women are forgetting family values and their children. Have there been any fathers around who have been accused of that anytime of their lives? Daddy is the one who is supposed to work while mummy cooks and cleans at home, God forbid that situation changes even if it is only a very minute percent of people being represented there.

Role reversal, what kind of role reversal has there been? Men still control most of society and most laws are made to favour men (apart form the complaints made about unfair laws such as the domestic violence and prevention of dowry). Women are subject to such a huge amount of scrutiny when they even think of wavering from the path induced by generations of male dominance. Women are not the better sex but they have to do everything better and work a lot harder even to get noticed. Whenever anything is spoken in support of women there are exceptions quoted to the contrary, well there are exceptions quoted even for murder cases so do few examples change the nature of taking somebody’s life? For every Indira Nooyi there are thousands of women who encounter the glass ceiling. So when one woman has a man doing household chores all women are blamed for being insolent and forgetting their values.

That sounds very hypocritical as men are not subject to half the criticism women get for trying to change things, is it so wrong to expect fathers to be an equal part of a child’s life as their mother? Women are trusted to keep a family together, a woman makes a home what it is, it is a woman’s job to make a house a home. Why can’t men help in making that house a home as well? The fact is women are far from equal even in today’s world, lot of men and women will disagree with that and again quite exceptions, which may be counted on fingertips. Does that not say a lot about the so many other women and girls who still face problems when they want to exercise their independence? Boys are still preferred to girls, still get priority when it comes to education, do not have to get married before 25 or 26 and are not questioned about spending more time working than with family. Until there is equal sharing of the load and women are given equal right and not just in theory but practically, there have to be exceptions to the rule to inspire women to get to that status. The attitude, arrogance and insolence are just an urban legend till that day arrives. Let them be equal then complain about the problems associated with that.