Firstly, if your man is crap in bed. Do you....

A) Ditch him - Up grade to a man who makes you scream all night?

B) Confront him - Tell him he’s crap in bed and make him deal with it and improve?

C) Train him up - White lie and say you have developed a domination fetish and you want him to be your slave and do everything you say?

A tricky one isn't it?

I needed expert advice and I turned to Dr John Gray, author of 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' - A practical guide for improving communication and getting what you want in your relationship. I was sure Dr Gray would appreciate the importance of great sex.

Dr Gray explains 'Martians have a win/lose philosophy - I want to win and I don't care if you lose'
This would explain some of the problems and attitudes of those men who do lack the wow factor in the bedroom - You have to admit, some men do think that sex is a race; they want to win and roll over and go to sleep.

Dr Gray continues -
Most of these Martian attitudes have a place in life, but this win/lose attitude becomes harmful in our adult relationships. If I seek to fulfil my own needs at the expense of my partner, we are sure to experience unhappiness, resentment, and conflict. The secret of forming a successful relationship is for both partners to win.

That sounds great; however, if my man is going to be amazing in bed he has to appreciate that I Have to win more often than he does! After all, I am the one who is orgasmic enough to be able to multiple orgasm. I’m sure you see my point.

So it seams if my man is crap in bed I have to confront him so that we can discuss how we both win in the bedroom. How do you do this? Do you just blurt out over morning coffee – here’s your clean work shirt hunny, oh and by the way your just not hitting the mark in the bedroom department???

'You never tell a guy he's no good in bed' says Joan Lloyd author ‘The Secret Lives of Housewives’ amongst other titles. She shared her secrets for lovers with me.

You have to phrase your comments in positive terms. Find something he's good at - maybe it's kissing or giving foot rubs - then encourage that. "I love it when you....” If you accentuate the positive that will go a long way.

Then make some suggestions yourself. "You know, I've always wanted to... How about you?"

I've written several books on how to improve your sex life and most of those contain lots of hints on what to do and how to say things - Joan Lloyd

What a lovely lady; I bet she doesn't have lousy sex life! Maybe she does with all this book writing when does she have time to get fruity?

So it appears that we could conclude from this that if you man is crap in bed that you subtly guide him in the right direction so that you both get what you want out of your fun and frolics.

Although, David R. Ford offers an alternative solution, David is pro marijuana and as the title of his book suggests ‘Good Medicine, Great Sex!’, he believes the a splif can not only improve your mans sexual prowess, but it might also improve your own! His website has more information about David Ford and his beliefs - davidrford.com

To be honest this approach seems the easier route with the added bonus of if the weed doesn't have the desired effect and he's still crap; you will have a good giggle about it!

And so I contemplate on the topic with these pearls of wisdom offered by learned people and what I can't get away from is the question - How do you end up with a bloke who’s crap in bed? There is something installed in my brain after one of life’s nasty experiences that will not allow me to fall head over heals with a man who can't pleasure me? Sorry - I'm an A) Dump him kinda girl!!